Call of the Phoenix
by ILove2Write13
Summary: Katniss Everdeen has given up everything for her sister. But she gained something. A darling baby boy. But she couldn't stop the reapings. Thrust into the Hunger Games, Katniss will do anything to win. Even joining an alliance with the Careers. But she didn't plan on Cato. And she sure as hell didn't plan on the Rebellion. Original title "Flames"
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Katniss Everdeen has given up everything for her sister. But she gained something. A darling baby boy.

But she couldn't stop the reapings.

Thrust into the Hunger Games, Katniss will do anything to win. Even joining an alliance with the Careers.

But she didn't plan on Cato.

And she sure as hell didn't plan on the Rebellion.

* * *

**The story of Katniss' son, Roan Peeta Everdeen (WILL BE EXPLAINED!) will come out in the middle of the story when she's bonding with Cato. **

**This is going to be the 74th Hunger Games, but Prim will only be 11. She's not in the reapings yet. Katniss is still 16, and all the other ages are the same, except Gale is now nineteen, and out of the reapings. He really is her cousin in this story. **

**Katniss is softer almost now, more protective and motherly, but still strong, stubborn, and determined.**

**Also, she delved more into singing since Roan was born, and even began writing her own songs. **

**I think the movie really spawned the Cato and Katniss romance. Alexander Ludwig, in my opinion, did a fantastic job portraying Cato. In the movie, Cato was interested in Katniss, for her bravery or her score, I don't know, but that spawning this idea…like what if the circumstances were different then they were in the actual book? **

**Thank god for FanFiction :)**

**EVERYTHING is going to be in Katniss' POV. EVERYTHING! EVERY chapter. Just wanna put that out there. **

* * *

_"Sometimes love sneaks up on you. And sometimes it rears up and punches you in the face."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

The morning of the reaping dawned clear and blue. It was deceivingly nice.

I woke up before everyone else.

My baby son, Roan, who was only two months old, was on his back next to me on the bed. I had given up my pillow to keep him from rolling off the bed. It was only a temporary situation. I was working on getting game good enough to get a little crib for him.

For a couple of moments, I laid on my side next to him, rubbing my hand gently up and down his side, seeing his little chest fall up and down rapidly.

His short black hair, which was just starting to grow in, was so soft. His eyes, now a gentle gray like mine, were shut, his eyelids a soft purple color, like the sunset.

Reluctantly, I slid out of bed, and went and tapped Prim's shoulder. She knew then to go and lay in bed with Roan while I was out, to make sure he was safe. I kissed the both of them on the head, and then headed out.

Almost no one was up. I knew Gale was sleeping in now, since he had to work in the mines. He rarely was able to hunt with me, and I missed it.

Gale and I were cousins. Our father's were brothers. The day I lost my father in the mining accident, I lost my uncle as well.

I slipped out of the meadow and through the fence. Once in the forest, I was able to let out a sigh of relief. I was free here.

I couldn't wait for Roan to be old enough to bring into the forest. I knew he would love it; he needed to know color, not the drab white, gray and black of our district.

Pulling the bow string back automatically, I kicked a rock into the trees, taking down four birds without trying.

After taking a couple of rabbits from my snares, I picked a small amount of strawberries and headed back to the house, my game bag heavy on my back.

When I got there, Mom was awake, helping Prim into her dress.

"Hey Mom." I said, kissing her on the cheek.

Ever since Roan was born, she and I had somewhat repaired our fractured relationship, from when she conked out and left Prim and I to fend for ourselves. Now that I was a mother, I can understand how an unexpected tragedy could render you almost dead. If I lost Roan…I don't know what I would do.

I still didn't know if I could conk out so badly to abandon my child, but I was trying to understand her.

"Hey sweetie. Leave the game in the hidden cupboard, and there is a bath ready for Roan."

"Thanks."

I stowed away the game for trading later on tonight, and then picked up Roan from his little cocoon of pillows he was resting in.

"Hey big boy! Mommy's going to give you a bath now, OK?"

Roan gave me a wide, gummy smile that lit up his whole face, and my heart just melted.

He was learning how to maneuver his hands and everything, and to my absolute horror, he liked sucking on his fingers. If it weren't for all the coal dust, it would be fine, but I was terrified he would get poisoning and die.

Roan had a grand ole time in the tub, Mom helping me support him as I washed his hair and arms, before wrapping him in our best towel.

His eyelashes were clumped together and his liquid eyes were big and bright.

"I love you big guy!" I whispered into his ear, putting on one of his diapers and then pulling on the shirt and pants Mom had made for him.

Gently drying his head, I then handed him off to Prim, who gave him 'belly time' on the bed while I dressed in one of our mother's dresses.

Ever since I had given birth to Roan, my chest had been considerably…larger. Most of my clothes had to be altered because of that.

Right now, I was wearing one of Mom's old white dresses, with just a white ribbon holding the front up, the rest of the material falling around to my knees. I ruined the look slightly by wearing my school boots, but they were comfortable.

Roan was near the edge of the bed, and I knelt down and saw him struggle to raise his head to look at me. When he managed it, I gave him a soft kiss on the forehead and then picked him up.

Prim tugged on the side of my dress and I leaned down to her level, Roan still in my arms.

"You're not going to get reaped, are you?"

I held in a breath. Mom and I had lied to Prim about me taking out a tesserae, to keep her from worrying, but I knew I had a large chance of getting reaped.

This was the one time a year I lied through my teeth for her.

"I'm not going to Prim. I'm not leaving you or Mom or Roan or Gale behind. I promise."

I wish I had known it was going to be a promise I couldn't keep.

* * *

"Welcome, welcome! I am now going to announce the girl tribute!"

Effie Trinket hobbled over to the round bowl, her wig teetering dangerously on her head from Haymitch's hug.

Roan was in my arms, since he steadfast refused to be passed over to Gale, Mom, or even Prim, who he normally adored.

I closed my eyes and prayed that it wouldn't be -

"Katniss Everdeen!"

I bit my lip and froze, my heart stopping and then taking off double time.

There was whispering, muttering.

It wasn't fair…a young girl with a son.

But no one would step up and take my place.

Almost everyone in the district knew how Roan had came to be.

Taking a deep breath, my arms automatically tightening on Roan, I walked up to the stage.

Effie Trinket's face went blank with shock when she saw me come walking up. I wished I could glare at her, but this was all being televised.

No one was speaking. I couldn't hand Roan off to anyone, so he just came onto the stage with me.

There were several seconds of silence, punctuated only by Roan's sniffling, but then Effie seemed to get herself together.

"Let's have a big round of applause for our girl tribute!"

To their credit, no one in twelve clapped. They only gave me the three finger salute, which was meant to show respect, love, and loss when someone died, or was going to die.

Effie, seeming to know that she was losing her crowd, turned and tottered over to the bowl for the male tribute.

"Rye Mellark!"

My heart dropped.

Peeta's older brother, Rye, who was now eighteen, stiffened before walking up to the stage. His eyes, the same blue as Peeta's, locked on mine.

Effie turned and smiled at the crowd.

"Well, this is going to be an _exciting_ year! Tributes, shake hands!"

I shifted Roan in my arms so I could extend my hand to Rye's. My hand was swallowed up by his.

We were whisked away to the City Hall, and I was thrust into a room with Roan sleeping on my shoulder.

Surprisingly, Haymitch was the first person to come into the room.

"OK, sweetheart, listen. I can only talk for a few minutes, but here we go. You need to bring Roan to the Capitol."

He cut off my protests with a wave of his hands.

"He is going to win you a lot of sponsors. A teenage girl with a son? It will be a huge hit. I will look after him while you are in the arena."

"Not drunk. You are not taking care of my son when you are drunk."

Haymitch gave me a wry grin.

"Fair enough."

I'm not sure I trusted Haymitch to look after my son, but I know I had no other option. It if meant I would come home and be with them, I would do it.

"OK. I'll let you talk to your mother and little sister. I'll see you on the train."

Haymitch turned around and walked to the door. Before he walked out, without turning around, he said, "I'm sorry."

He sounded genuine, and sober. It was so shocking that I couldn't say anything.

The moment he was out the door, Mom and Prim came barging in.

Mom looked like she was shell shocked; her eyes were wide and glazed, like she couldn't believe what was happening right in front of her face.

Prim's large blue eyes were huge, full of tears, which were streaming down her cheeks.

I wrapped her in a hug, trying to soothe her tears.

"Shh, Prim, I'm going to come home, I _promise_ you that I will."

Prim's eyes were still huge.

Her hands went up to the necklace that she had. It was one that Dad had given her before he died in a mining accident all those horrible years ago.

It was a carved charm on a leather chorded necklace. The charm was of a star, perfectly symmetrical and smooth.

"Take this as your token. And come home!"

I kissed her forehead.

"I will. Roan is coming with me to the capitol, but I promise that we will both come home."

Prim nodded, tears still running down her face.

Mom came over to me, her eyes wide with tears falling down her face as well.

"I…I'm sorry for everything I did Katniss…I'm sorry, but please, please, please, come home!"

My eyes started to prick, but I kept the tears from coming out.

I hugged her, and I realized that this was the first step I had came to of forgiveness since she conked out and left me and Prim when Dad died.

It was a little too late for that.

I hugged her tightly too, but then a Peacekeeper came in, telling them that the time was up.

Prim and Mom were crying, and I was shouting out I loved them, and then the door slammed, and I was left alone with the sleeping Roan and my own breaking heart.

Gale came in three seconds later, hands clenched in fists and his breathing heavy. I wrapped him in a hug, hiding my face under his collarbone, like I did when I was little and afraid.

"Listen, you need to get a bow. If all else fails, make one yourself, but you know more about surviving then they will give you credit for. They will underestimate you, but don't let that hurt…you are going to win, and you're going to come back to us. OK?"

His no-nonsense attitude made me feel a little better; when all else failed, Gale would still be there and still be dependable.

All too soon, everyone was gone and I was alone with Roan.

The fear I was trying to tap down was spring up again.

Roan, ever in tune to my emotions, started to fuss, and I shushed him, trying to keep my 'stoic mom face' on, but it was cracking.

Effie burst into the room, her voice so loud Roan jumped and started whimpering again. I shot Effie a look, but she ignored me, talking in her freaking annoying accent.

Being led to the train was just being stared at, in reality.

Mom and Prim and Gale gave me one more hug before Roan, Rye and I were being thrust into the train, the door slamming behind us.

There was no going back.

I was going to the Capitol.

* * *

**I had to post it...I just had to. **

**As you might know by now, Mistakes has been deleted. For more information, read my profile. **

**Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I forgot to write the disclaimer...whoops! Anyways, this will go for the entire series of chapters I write.**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING you recognize. Everything here is borrowed from Suzanne Collins or the Hunger Games Movie, produced but Lionsgate. This disclaimer goes for the ENTIRE story. Any songs I mention in here DO NOT belong to me unless specified. So basically, the only thing I own is the plot and my own writing, but none of the content…if that makes sense.**

**Anyways, thank you so much for the reviews that you guys have given me! **

**Secondly, this is going to seem kind of rushed up until they go into the Games. Sorry, but that is how it is. **

**These chapters are longer than the ones I normally write, by more than a thousand words...so it might take longer to update, but right now, with it still being summer vacation for me, they might get up quicker!**

* * *

_"Make sure they remember you." _

_-Haymitch_

* * *

Effie and Haymitch lead us to the main cart of the train.

I took a moment to examine Rye.

He and Peeta had the same eyes. The same, beautiful blue eyes.

Where Peeta had thick blond hair, Rye had thick brown hair with some highlights. He was stockier than Peeta was, but it could just be because he was older then Peeta would ever be.

Ever since Peeta's death, Rye and I had been semi-close. He would come in and check in on Roan every couple of days or once every week, even babysat when I had to go to school, since, as a Town kid, he didn't have to work in the mines.

Sometimes, he would even sneak a cookie or a piece of a cake (not even stale!) to Prim or I.

In a way, he was kind of like the uncle that we would never have.

We all awkwardly sat down at the table together, just staring at each other.

Haymitch looked sober, more sober than I ever saw him before. He had almost an energy to him.

Rye finally had enough of being eyed, and said, "So what's the game plan."

Haymitch sat back, looking at Rye thoughtfully.

"We are going to keep you alive."

The way he said it didn't seem sarcastic. It sounded like a promise.

* * *

That night, I walked into the room to find a small crib built into the bed. There is no wall with the mattress connecting to the big bed, but three walls to keep the baby from rolling away.

I laid Roan down and looked around. On top of the dresser is a box of disposable baby diapers, the ones we can never afford.

I change Roan, his soft babbling making me smile.

He had his small, pudgy hands curled up in fists, waving them around, kicking his small legs.

After nursing him, I curl up on the bed with him in his attached crib. He's asleep instantly, after I sing to him and rub his stomach.

I lay down next to him, just watching him.

Before he was born, I never wanted kids. I never wanted to get married. I never wanted to fall in love. It only lead to hurt and death.

When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know what to think. I wasn't going to give up the baby, but I was so confused and hurt.

When Roan was born in a flurry of pain and pushes, I took one look at his face and fell in love.

Before, when I thought about myself, I thought about a stone, a hunter, someone who kept surviving.

After, I was a mother; one who would do anything to keep her son safe.

That moment, I steeled myself.

I was going to do everything necessary to get home to Prim, Roan, Gale, and all my cousins.

I couldn't leave Prim; I was all she had…Mom must have conked out, and she had no survival skills.

Roan…he needed me there. He needed his mother.

Gale was my best friend, my cousin…he needed my help keeping out family alive.

I wasn't going to let them down.

* * *

I was awoken the next morning to Effie's shrill voice, screeching like the chalk on a blackboard back home.

"Up, up, up! It's going to be a big, big day!"

Roan jerked and then let out a whimper, which would turn into a full blown cry if I didn't calm him down.

Jerking out of bed, I rubbed his side fiercely, calming him down to sleep one more time.

Letting out the breath I didn't know I was holding, I got dressed in tight black pants and the boots from home. A long sleeved sweater got thrown on over it, and then I looked to the other side of the room, where baby clothes were.

Smiling wryly, I realized that Haymitch must have done something to make sure that baby clothes were around for Roan.

Peeling him out of his clothes and changing his diaper, he woke up a little, eyes still glazed. He put his small fingers to his mouth to suck on for a while.

I couldn't resist a girly smile when I saw all the clothes I could dress him in.

Choosing a blue one-piece and a deeper blue pant set, I cuddled him to my chest, opened the door with my hip, and went to the dinning cart.

Haymitch was there, and so was Effie, dressed in an obnoxious yellow ensemble today.

Rye came in the other door, rubbing his eyes, blond hair in tuffs around his head.

"Good morning! Now, there is a lot to cover today before we get to the Capitol. First things first-"

Haymitch cut her off with a hand, and her face was so affronted looking that I had to stifle a smile.

Roan sat on my lap, facing out, making funny little noises, slightly muffled by his fingers still in his mouth.

I spooned a little bit of everything onto my plate; it seemed like a good idea to put on some weight before the arena.

Roan made some more noises, his free hand making circles in the air.

Cooing a little back to him, I dunked my pinky into my applesauce before offering it to his small mouth.

I watched with some humor as he made a cross-eyed face and smacked his lips. He had no idea how to eat really. That would come in a couple of months.

There was silence at the table, and I looked up, suddenly bashful.

It wasn't uncommon for a woman in her late teens to have a child. I was a special case in my district, but no one commented, not even some of the more obnoxious boys at school.

I knew at the Capitol though, they didn't have children until later. Didn't want to ruin their bodies.

Effie looked at me in what looked scarily like pity. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, before saying in a voice not as shrill, "How old is he? What's his name?"

"His name is Roan Peeta Everdeen. He's two months old."

Rye's hand stiffened on his fork.

Haymitch sighed, taking a long swig of what looked like just plain orange juice; I guess he was making good on his promise to stay sober.

"OK…I'm going to give you advice on how to stay alive…but we're going to be pulling into the train station and brought right to your stylists. So, all you need to do is just go along with them, and for the love of god, do _not_ protest."

That didn't sound too appealing to me.

"So, you're going to watch Roan?"

Haymitch smiled at me, a sardonic smile, but still with a hit of warmth.

"Yes, I am."

Roan, like he knew we were talking about him, shook around his fists, his smile still in place.

Effie seemed torn for a moment, like she wanted to say something that went against the grain for her personality.

What came out of her mouth shocked me.

"May I…May I hold him?"

Haymitch's, as well as mine, mouth dropped open, shock evident in both of our faces.

Her face dropped a little, and she made a move like she was going to get up, before I jolted up, my mouth working to say, "Yes…thank you for asking."

Effie's face lit up, and I slowly passed Roan over to her.

For a moment, it looked like he was going to cry, but then Effie started swaying, making little cooing noises, which still carried her Capitol accent.

Roan looked at her with befuddlement on his small face, but then he graced her with a gummy smile, and then commenced trying to grab her earrings or her necklace.

Rye smiled at me from behind Effie, his face saying it all; no one could resist Roan.

As soon as we pulled up to the train station, I was whisked away, along with Rye. Haymitch and Effie were left alone with Roan, and I was a little afraid at what was going to happen to him.

Locked into a plain white room, three people came flying in, looking like a flock of multicolored birds.

"Hello there! I'm Venia," said a woman with aqua hair and elegant gold tattoos over her eyebrows. Motioning to the man with with orange hair and bright purple lipstick, she said, "This is Flavius."

"And I'm Octavia," said a plumpish woman whose skin was a creepy shade of pea green.

I smiled at all of them, trying to keep my hands from shaking. For being from the Capitol, they actually didn't seem half bad.

* * *

Those sentiments went out the window when I had the fifth strip of my hair ripped off.

"Sorry, sorry! But you're just so hairy!"

I rolled my eyes and braced myself on the table.

Octavia smiled at me, looking genuinely apologetic.

"This is the last one."

For the past three hours, I had been 'prepped,' which basically meant that I was waxed of all hair except for on my head, and even that had been put through some kind of weird washing.

With some cooling lotion on, Flavius clapped his hands.

"You look marvelous darling!"

I smiled at them, not finding it in me to hate my shallow prep team.

I was annoyed with them for putting me through this though. It was painful.

"Let's go get Cinna now!"

The three of them scrambled for the door, air kisses left behind.

I pulled on my robe, a little embarrassed to at my nakedness.

I had gotten semi-over it.

After I gave birth to Roan, I had my mother teach me some basic healing. I had tried to lock away the squeamish girl I had been. I still wasn't so good I didn't blush when I saw a patient naked.

Shaking myself out of my digressing, I waited for the mysterious Cinna to come in.

When he did, I was shocked.

I had been expecting some kind of Capitol altered freak; someone who had gone through more plastic surgeries than I had fingers on my hands.

What I got was a young man, with dark brown hair and tanned skin, not the fake colors or paleness that was most common here. More startling, he was dressed in plain black clothes.

Apparently, the only concession to self-alteration seemed to be the gold eyeliner applied in a light hand, which brought out the gold flecks in his eyes.

He reached out a hand, and I shook it.

"Hello. I'm Cinna, your stylist."

"Katniss," I said, shaking his hand.

Cinna nodded to me. He motioned me over to the table, where a plate of fruit, some dipped in chocolate, sat.

I wondered what it would be like…to be able to call up food at the push of a button.

To not spend all the time in the forest, looking for food, trading and trying to survive…would I be able to spend more time with Gale, with Roan? Would Roan even be around right now if I didn't stoop to such low levels to keep our family alive?

The thought of not having Roan now that I had him seemed unbearable, and I quickly pushed the thoughts out of my mind.

Cinna stared at me, his face blank.

"I'm sorry."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"For what?"

"The fact that you have a son and you're being forced into these Games."

I let out a wry smile.

"I wouldn't change him for the world Cinna."

Cinna's face stayed blank, but his eyes softened.

After having some more fruit (which tasted out of this world), Cinna lead me to the other room, where my costume was laid out.

I furrowed my eyebrows. It looked like just a plain black leather suit, with knee high boots and a cape, a small tiara on a pillow above it.

Cinna must have seen my face because he let out a chuckle.

"What is District 12 known for?"

"Coal…," I trailed off. Normally the tributes were dressed in coal miner's clothes, sometimes even covered in coal dust while being stark naked.

"And what do you do with coal?"

The understanding, as well as the horror, must have been plain on my face.

"You light it on fire."

Behind this mask of a semi-normal human lurked the soul of a madman.

* * *

"Where the hell is Haymitch? Isn't he supposed to be here to save us from this?"

Rye was dressed in the same getup as I was. The tight leather made him look thicker, more stocky. I had been embarrassed to look in the mirror, because my newly expanded chest seemed even larger.

I rolled my eyes, looking around.

"Haymitch is in charge of my son, I don't want him near us."

Rye laughed a little, before giving me a hand up into the chariot, which was decorated in flames.

I hadn't been done up with a lot of make-up, which was a good thing, because I think I would have sweated it all off.

Cinna and his partner stylist, Portia, came over, fake synthetic flame in their hands. He swore up and down and left to right that it wouldn't hurt us, but for some reason, I was still skeptical.

When the cape was lit, I couldn't believe it. There was no heat, only a faint tickling sensation, like the kind you get on the back of your neck when you think someone is watching you.

Rye reached out his hand, and without thinking, I grabbed it.

I could only imagine how this might look…like we're lovers, like we have a son, and we had the unfortunate luck to be thrust into these games.

It was never like that with Rye and I. I mean, I'm sure one or both of us thought about it once or twice, but he was too much of my brother. He was there for me and Roan, always; for crying out loud, he held my hand when I gave birth to Roan.

It seemed fitting that (as friends) we held hands going into this.

The minute we went down the street, the crowds went wild.

Pulling from somewhere deep inside myself, I pasted on a fake smile, letting the adrenaline make the tremors and self-consciousness fade away.

The crowd screamed, threw roses and other little trinkets at us.

Then the chariots were pulled into the circle, President Snow beamed down at us with his puffy lips the color of blood.

I tuned out of his speech, choosing instead to look around at the competition.

I had seen them at the recap of the reapings.

The tall, lanky arrogant boy from District One, the small but deadly looking girl from District Two.

My heart clenched when I saw the little girl from District Eleven. She couldn't have been older than Prim, and not that much taller. Hopefully, the tall, dangerous looking boy who had also been reaped from her district would protect her.

Soon, I was jolted back into reality when the horses received some kind of silent signal to turn and and bring us back to the Training Center.

Once inside, our prep team came flouncing around us, yelping about 'what a splash!' and 'no one will ignore you now!'

Cinna and Portia sprayed something onto our headdresses and capes to put the flame out.

Rye dropped down from the chariot and then helped me down.

Effie flounced over, giving us tight hugs, tapping us on the nose while she went on and on about how we did such a good job, like we did more than just stand in a chariot and wave.

"And the hand holding? Perfect! Makes us look like a team!"

Rye raised an eyebrow at me. I understood the gallows humor behind it.

How were we supposed to be a team when only one winner could be crowned?

When I cast a look around, I had to stifle a laugh.

Haymitch was walking to us, after finishing talking to another mentor who was laughing at him also.

Strapped onto his chest was Roan.

Roan seemed perfectly happy with his new best friend. Haymitch looked disgruntled, but behind it, I could tell he liked being with Roan.

When he came nearer, I laughed out loud, reaching out to play with Roan, who was strapped back to front with Haymitch.

"I have to say, you two look like you're having a lot of fun."

Haymitch rolled his eyes, showing me how to unstrap him.

Once Roan was out of the little holder, her laughed and tried to grab at my hair, which had been pulled back in an intricate braid with some bits hanging off of it.

Rye reached out for Roan and I passed him over, laughing at the faces that he was making for Roan's entertainment.

Suddenly remembering where we were, I looked around, noticing that we had been the center of most stares.

The other district tributes looked at us in jealousy and contempt. We had literally out shown them all.

The large volunteer tribute from two, the one with blond hair and striking blue eyes, stared at me with a mixture of admiration and hatred.

Flinching back, I took Roan from Rye's grasp and held him tighter to me, before following the others up to the penthouse, where we would be housed for five days and six nights before we would be sent to the arena.

Before we would be sent to our deaths.

* * *

**The next chapter is in the works! Please keep reviewing :)**

**And yes, the information about how Roan came to be, will come up soon!**

**And I think the general consensus is that Peeta is his father...well, we will have to find out!**

**Also, I love the whole Haymitch with the little baby carrier strapped to his chest...OMG, I died laughing...**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am on an updating roll! I have updated my oneshots, Reign of Angels, and now Flames! **

**I am thinking of changed the name to 'Songs of the Phoenix,' what do you think? Flames was just a name I threw out there. **

**These chapters are going to seemed rushed because I want to get to the meat of the story, not dwell on things we learned in the books. **

**Also, I apologize if some of the characters seem OOC to you. I'm trying my best here!**

* * *

The penthouse was fantastic.

Effie chattered on and on about something, but I tuned her out, something that I ended up doing a lot.

The main dinning room was bigger than our whole house.

Chandeliers of crystal and huge floor to ceiling windows drew my attention.

I saw a small box of baby toys in the corner and made a beeline for them.

I pulled up a colorful plastic ring with some little balls hanging from it and handed it to Roan, helping his hand close around it.

The wonder and amusement on his small face made me laugh.

Effie bustled over to the table, talking to one of the servers, who then started to serve dinner.

I cast a look over my shoulder, shouting, "I'm going to my room real quick to change and fix up Roan."

Haymitch nodded and turned back to Rye, who asked him a question.

I slipped down the hall and into my room, laying Roan down on the huge bed.

I changed him quickly, putting him in another cute set of clothes, this time a shirt that was impossibly soft and thick pants.

Peeling off my costume, I folded it and placed it on my bed.

Quickly changing into a short white dress that had been laid out for me, I then picked up gurgling Roan and headed back out to the dinning room.

The table was ladened with delicious looking food.

Plump fruits in all sorts of colors, meats roasted and herbed, drinks in all kind of neons.

My mouth was watering.

I wished a little that Roan was old enough to eat regular foods, because unless I won, he would never have the chance again.

Roan still had his grip on the small ring I had given him.

Ignoring the small seat like a bucket that I was sure was meant for Roan, I sat him on my lap, my hand on his belly to keep him from pitching headfirst into the table.

Haymitch called my attention.

"OK, tomorrow in training, I need you two to look out for each other. Go through the physical training first. You will have four required exercises, upper body strength, basic healing, obstacle course, and then long distance weapons. Don't know why they chose those, but they're needed. Work on all kinds of weapons. Then, the last couple of days, look at the survival stations so they are fresh in your head, while you have muscle memory with the weapons."

I nodded, realizing the sense in what he was saying.

"Is there anything you guys are good at?"

Rye sighed.

"I can lift heavy things…about two hundred pounds."

Haymitch didn't say anything, but I could tell he was kind of impressed.

"I can…I can hunt. Shoot, snares."

Haymitch knew this, but he nodded as well. I'm pretty sure he saw me at the Hob selling my game.

Rye cast me what I'm sure was meant to be a reassuring smile.

"Don't show any of your strengths. Learn something new. Don't give them any hint at what you might be good at."

Haymitch then turned to me, his face somewhat grim.

"I know you might not like this, but when you go into the arena, I need your permission to bring Roan around to the sponsors."

I opened my mouth, about to protest, but then I thought about it.

Roan was going to be the one who drew in the sponsors. Because he's a cute, innocent child who does not deserve to have his mother to die on him before he could even remember her face.

I looked up at Haymitch, disgruntled but not protesting.

"One thing."

Haymitch raised an eyebrow, silently prompting me to go on.

"I want you to promise me that some of the sponsorship money will go to _both_ of us."

Rye started at that, but I kept my eyes on Haymitch.

He nodded, a small smile on his face, like I had done something to impress him.

I then turned to Rye, making him cut off his protests with my eyes.

"If I die in the arena, then you need to win. You need to bring Roan home to my family, need to help raise him, because you are the unofficial uncle to my family…please."

Rye didn't look happy, but he shut his mouth and nodded.

Effie pipped up then, seeming to realize that the serious conversation was over.

"Well, I think we should order some chocolate covered strawberries!"

The only answer to her was Roan throwing his small ring across the table and gurgling.

* * *

The next morning, all of the tributes were lined up in the basement of the training center, where we would actually train.

I cast a look at all of them, a little apprehensive.

Most of them were taller, thicker, and more muscular than I was. They were built for killing.

These were kids who had trained their entire lives to kill. These were other kids who never had a good meal in their lives.

By far the scariest was the tall male tribute from District 2. He was the one who glared at me the most after the opening ceremonies. He had been dressed in gold, some kind of warriors uniform.

He caught my eyes, his ice blue eyes penetrating me to my stop.

His smirk at my apparent fear made me harden.

I may be a mother, and I may be small, but I wasn't going to go down without a fight.

Atala, the head instructor, talked to us all.

"In two weeks, 21 of you will be dead."

Well, she was sure blunt.

"One of you will be alive. Who that is depends on how well you pay attention over the next four days. Particularly to what I'm about to say."

She held up one finger, glancing pointedly to the Career tributes.

"First, no fighting with the other Tributes. You'll have plenty of time for that in the arena. There are four compulsory exercises. The rest will be individual training. My advice is don't ignore the survival skills. Everybody wants to grab a sword, but most of you will die from natural causes."

Looking around, holding each of our eyes, she recited statistics.

"Ten percent from infection, twenty percent from dehydration. Exposure can kill as easily as a knife."

Like some of us didn't know that.

I couldn't count the number of times others had come to my mother, burned by the sun, or frozen in the winter, hungry and dying, with nothing we could do to save them.

When she let us free, I noticed the gamekeepers watching us. I had to resist the urge to stick my tongue out at them.

Rye tapped my arm, pointing to where he was going, over to the spears.

I turned and headed over to the knife throwing, just barely holding myself back from heading straight to the arrows and bows at the archery section.

The District 2 tribute, who I found out from the betting board, who was named Cato, headed right over to the other side of the room where the swords and spears where, handling them with ease that spoke of long practice.

With three well placed swipes he cut up the dummies, turning them into amputees, and one decapitated.

Gritting my teeth, I turned back to the knives.

It wasn't so much different than the arrows, only using just my hand.

I chose the lightest knives, throwing them. Five out of the seven I threw hit the bulls eye.

I was kind of impressed with that. I had thrown maybe three knives in my life, when I was taking down large game and I wanted to make sure they weren't going to run away.

I worked at the knife throwing for a good hour and a half, before I switched stations with Rye.

I found out right away that I was no good at throwing spears.

I could get it to fly straight, but I didn't have the muscle to throw it far or with much force.

I threw a couple, before giving up.

Heading over to the knot tying station, I saw the tall boy for District 11 talking to Rye, his large hand on the shoulder of his partner, the small girl who reminded me of Prim.

I cast a look to the betting board, and learned that their names were Thresh and Rue.

Rue. Prim. They were too alike.

I turned back to the knot tying station.

The little boy from District Four, the boy who was only thirteen years old, was sitting next to me, timid. His name was Finn, and his partner was Coral, a small fourteen year old girl.

I was struggling with a tough knot, one that was supposed to hold even the heaviest weight.

"Here."

Finn reached over and showed me how to tie the knot in less than three minutes.

Of course…District Four, fishing.

I smiled at the little guy. He reminded me a little bit like Vick, one of my cousins (Gale's little brother).

Finn smiled back a little, eyes hesitant.

He could easily be Roan years from now…frightened out of his mind, forced into these games he was not prepared for.

My heart went into my throat, and my eyes burned.

I turned back around to the knots and whispered, "Thank you.'

Finn nodded and then scurried back to his District partner, who shot me a curious look.

I closed my eyes and threw my head back.

I would do anything to win these games, but I didn't know if I had it in me to kill children.

* * *

_Day Three_

The past couple of days have been training, training, and more training.

The more I see the Careers train, the more worried I get.

Especially the tall boy from District Two. He lost his temper so easily when Rue stole his knife, and he blamed the other boy.

I do reasonably well in the physical training.

Haymitch helps me put on muscle and more weight. I'm still ridiculously lean, but I have a better chance of running faster and surviving without food.

I learn more edible plants and basic healing, work more with throwing knives, even work with an axe.

Hand to hand combat was harder. I don't have the strength to really hurt someone, so I just learn dodging.

At night, I go up to the rooftop with Rye and Roan, and we have picnics. Rye scared me when he sat on the ledge with Roan, but he calmed me down when he showed me the force field that was up to keep them from falling.

After training that day, I take a shower and dress, pick up Roan (who has put on weight with all the Capitol food making my milk healthier) and then head to the lunch.

"OK you two. Today is the day you get your training scores after a private session with the gamemakers. I don't know how else to say it, but make sure they remember you."

Rye popped a grape into his mouth, not saying anything; only the tip of his head suggested that he had heard Haymitch.

Pointing to me, he said, "There will be a bow. Do all kinds of fancy tricks, whatever, to get in their favor. Rye, you throw around the weights, make them see how strong you are."

I couldn't wait for this day to be over.

* * *

Bouncing my legs, I tried to keep the jitters in for a little while longer.

Peeta had just gone in, and I was the last tribute. When I was called, I took a deep breath and walked into the training room.

I had only the vaguest look of the Gamemakers. They were all drunk, eating to their hearts content.

Clearing my throat loudly, I turned and said, "Katniss Everdeen, District 12."

Maybe three of them turned around to look at me.

Rolling my eyes mentally, I hurried over to the bow and arrows.

The string was tighter than the one I used at home, stiffer than I was used to.

When I pulled an arrow back, I landed way off the bulls eye.

I stared in shock, my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

The little attention I had earned was turned away in a scoff.

I went back to the archery station, and got used to the feel of the bow.

I shot three straight bulls eyes, but none of them were paying attention.

Suddenly, I was furious.

I needed to get a good score, I needed them to pay attention to me, because if they didn't, Roan was going to lose me.

Silently simmering, I locked my eyes on the apple in the mouth of the whole roast pig that was now sitting on the table in the middle.

Taking aim, I let loose the arrow, which took the apple and buried into the wall, not three inches from the head gamemaker, Seneca Crane's, head.

The dead silence was only punctured by the twinkling noise the glasses made as they shattered.

Through my teeth with severe sarcasm, I said, "Thank you, for you consideration."

I threw the bow over my shoulder and stormed out of the room without being dismissed.

The entire way up to the penthouse I was still angry, but then I started to get calmer, and this time a little afraid.

What if they took it out on Rye in the Games? Or if they hurt or killed Prim, Gale?

Or Roan.

Once the elevator stopped, I took off in a dead run to our room, heart pounding.

I wouldn't allow them to hurt my son.

Haymitch and Effie were waiting at the door, but I didn't see Roan in either of their arms.

"Katniss-"

"WHERE'S ROAN!?"

Effie looked taken aback by my tone, not able to answer.

Haymitch came over to me, hand sup like he was approaching someone armed and dangerous.

When neither of them answered, I tore through the room at top speed, to my quarters.

I didn't slow down when I saw Roan in his crib, asleep.

I scooped him up, not caring if he started crying; at least I would be doubly reassured that he was OK.

Haymitch came into the room, Rye right at his heels.

"Are you OK?! What's going on? What happened?"

Slowly getting my breath back, I explained to them what happened.

Effie, who had stumbled into the room halfway through the explanation, was beside herself.

"Do you realize that your actions reflect badly on not only you, but on all of us?!"

I rolled my eyes at Effie's actions.

Haymitch was laughing, wiping at his eyes to keep the tears from spilling over.

Effie turned and snapped at him.

"I fail to see the humor in this situation!"

Haymitch turned to her, his face still in a smile.

"She made sure that they were going to remember her."

* * *

Watching the scores was just making my nerves jump around even more.

Roan was asleep, having been jolted awake during his normal nap time to my hysteria.

I had downed a glass of champagne, enough to calm my nerves, but not enough to get me drop dead drunk.

I listened with half an ear, only catching a couple of the scores.

Marvel, the boy from District One, for a 9; Cato and Clove 10, Thresh a 9, and Rue, surprisingly a 7.

"From District Twelve...Rye Mellark…with an eight."

I smiled and punched his shoulder lightly.

"Good job."

Rye smiled back at me.

"And last but not least, Katniss Everdeen with…an eleven."

One minute of shock, and then yelling.

Rye scooped me up in a hug, and then Effie wrapped her arms around me as well, jumping up and down (how did she do it in heels?!). Cinna kissed my forehead, Portia pouring everyone some more alcohol.

I had just made Hunger Games history…I had gotten an eleven.

I felt hope swell up in my chest; with the opening ceremonies and my training score, surely there would be one sponsor willing to take me on?

* * *

The next morning, the hope that had been building up in my chest popped.

I had almost forgotten about the interviews.

"Calm down. You will do fine."

I smiled a little.

Rye hadn't talked a lot in the Capitol. It took him a long time to open up more than one word answers before we got close.

At the breakfast table, Effie was sitting there, clapping her hands.

I had also forgotten that now we had to go through training for our interviews today.

Haymitch had finally cracked and was nursing a small cup of alcohol, but under the circumstances (an excited Effie) I understood why and didn't blame him.

Honestly? I wanted a drink too.

"OK, Haymitch and I will get two hours each with you. I will help you with your mannerisms, and Haymitch will help you with your angle."

Sighing, I leaned to rest my head against Roan's soft hair, wishing that I could just lay with him for a little while longer.

The moment Haymitch and I sat down in a room together, he said, "Your angle is obvious."

I rolled my eyes, shifting in my seat. I had Roan in my lap; I had refused to let him be handled by an Avox while Effie, Cinna and Portia were occupied.

I only had precious moments left with my son before I had to go into the games.

"What, the girl on fire?" I said, quoting my nickname that was now all over the televisions.

Haymitch rolled his eyes at me.

"No, you're the strong, determined, fiery mother from District 12."

We continued on that vein, thinking about what to say to some questions, since they were sure to ask about Prim (who had given a tearful pre-games interview), Gale, and Roan.

Sighing, Haymitch asked the one question I wished we could avoid.

"What are you going to say when they ask you who Roan's father is?"

"That it's not Rye, and the father is out of the picture."

Haymitch gave me a look of what I'm sure was supposed to be sympathy.

"If you tell them the truth about him, it might gain you and Rye some more sponsors."

I shook my head before he even finished talking.

"It would take more than three minutes to tell this story; and no, I'm not telling them."

The rest of the hour continued, me answering questions to the best of my ability.

The two hours with Effie were the worst.

"Smile! You're not smiling!"

I had to hold my breath and count to ten to keep from screaming at her.

Did I have anything to smile about?

Gritting my teeth, I kept going on with the lesson, hoping that I could somehow manage to woo more people with my charms.

Yeah, that was likely to happen.

* * *

**Oh my god, these chapters are freaking long. **

**OK, I hope you like this chapter! Next one is going to be chock full of information, interviews, and some Cato-Katniss-ness! I'm so excited!**

**Please review, thank you so much for the previous one!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Damn, I am on a roll with this. And I am negletcing all my other fanfics because of thisss!**

**I'm sorry about the two bloopers in the past chapter! First, there should have been 23, not 21, and second, I made a mistake with the whole Rye/Peeta thing. I was watching the Hunger Games when I was typing this, and it was instantaneous. Also, Peeta is not going to be in this story unless in memory…because, as I'm sad to admit, he is dead. **

**Normally I get Rye and Roan's name mixed up! **

**Almost everyone thinks that Peeta is Roan's father…You'll have to wait and see!**

**Thank you so much for the reviews! **

**Also, I used one of the reviewers suggestions to make Glimmer or Clove or both like Roan! **

**On another note, in this chapter, the interview set up is back stage, with chairs until your name is called, kind of like in the movie.**

**Please keep reviewing!**

* * *

_May the odds be ever in your favor._

_-The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins_

* * *

"You are really going to run this 'girl on fire' thing to the ground, aren't you?"

Cinna laughed, finishing pinning up my hair, before appearing in front of me with a brush.

"Close your eyes."

Obeying, I felt the familiar tickle as he dusted some more gold eyeshadow over my eyes.

"Now open them and look into the mirror."

I did, and was shocked into what I saw.

I was dressed in a dress of gems, all in the patterns of flames. The tips were ice blue, and whenever I moved, it looked like I was being encompassed in fire.

My hair was curled and piled atop my head, some strands falling around my face. Glued around my eyes, which had been emphasized by the golden eyeshadow, were some small gemstones.

The dress itself was simple, clinging to my body and showing off the curves I had mostly kept hidden. There were no straps or sleeves, and my collarbone was bare from any jewelry.

Cinna smiled at me, before tucking what he called a fire lily behind my ear.

"You look beautiful."

I smiled, saying, "Thank you."

Cinna crossed over to the door, before opening it, and then closed it, coming back in with Roan in his arms.

I had to laugh before taking him into my arms.

"Now you guys match."

Roan was dressed in a red one piece, with small flames printed on it. His hair was styled back away from his face, and his innocent eyes looked up at me before his hands started batting at my hair, and my necklace, the one that Prim had given me.

Cinna lead me out the door, and I didn't trip over my feet, thank god.

Rye was dressed similar to me, his suit a deep burgundy red that flashed whenever he moved.

Together, we went to a car that was going to take us to the interviews.

The entire time, I felt like my nerves were going to explode.

Roan seemed to feel my emotions in the way all babies do and squirmed a little until I sang softly into his ear.

When I finished with the wordless lullaby, we had pulled up, and I was being lead out of the car.

Camera's flashed in our eyes, and I turned Roan in to bury his head in my chest to keep him from being startled from the bright lights.

Haymitch pushed through the crowd with Effie tottering after him, the others following him.

It was only Cinna's hand on my back that kept me from freaking out again.

Once we were in, we were escorted backstage, where many plush chairs were occupied by the other tributes, dressed in their finest.

Cinna, Portia, Haymitch and Effie all wished us luck and then left to go take their seats.

Rye and I were left with Roan backstage, with others just looking at us.

Refusing to blush, I sat down, making sure Roan was comfortable.

With nothing else to do but wait, I fiddled with the edges of his hair, making sure they stayed down.

A motion in front of me had me tensing and looking up, seeing the girl from District One sitting in front of me, eyes wary and curious.

I remembered vaguely that her name was Glimmer.

Roan looked around, his eyes wide and fingers stuck in his mouth.

Rye was stiff at my back, I could tell; tensions was radiating off of him in waves.

Glimmer let out a genuine smile and cooed softly to Roan, letting him hold her finger and even stick it in his mouth.

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

This girl from One, who had been trained her whole life to kill without remorse, who looked at me with scorn and a mix of admiration and hatred, who wielded weapons like I had never seen…was playing with my son.

When she looked up at me, her eyes were wide with hope, and I saw no note of hidden motives.

"May I…may I hold him?"

Throat dry, I didn't know why I let him go into her arms, I didn't know how I could rearrange her arms into a comfortable cradle for him.

I didn't know what I was doing.

Glimmer cooed more at him, and my shock steadily grew.

The roar of the crowd made Glimmer look up, smiling ruefully at me.

"Thank you."

Glimmer then handed Roan back to me, before flouncing off to her interview.

Rye dropped into the seat that she had just vacated.

His face said it all.

"What kind of planet are we on right now?"

I let out a weak laugh, letting Roan play with my fingers in his baby glory.

"I have no idea."

* * *

The interviews passed quickly, and all too soon, I was called up onstage.

I passed Roan to Rye, kissing Roan's forehead for good luck, and then walked as steadily as I could.

"Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire!"

The crowd's roar was deafening, and I could literally feel it reverberating in my chest.

Caesar Flickerman took my hand and lead me to the chair.

"Welcome, welcome, Katniss, I will say, it is a pleasure to have you here."

Reaching down in the depths of my personality, I tried to paste on a smile I was sure looked fake.

"Thank you Caesar. Yes, it is great to be here."

"Now, Katniss, I'm sure many of us were wondering how someone so young could have a son so sweet as him."

There it was. The digging.

I kept my fake smile on, before answering in the least biting tone I could answer, "Roan. My son's name is Roan. He is the best thing that happened to me. I wouldn't trade him for the world."

Caesar noticed that I was trying to not answer the question, and promptly moved on to another subject.

"Now, I'm also sure many of us want to know how you managed to get an eleven, making Hunger Games history!"

The crowd roared at that again.

I let out a secret smile before leaning forward and looking over to the Gamemakers.

"I'm not supposed to say, aren't I?"

"She's not supposed to say!"

Laughter exploded from everyone.

"Now, I know I'm not supposed to say, but I'm sure it was…different then they were expecting."

Let me dangle that tidbit in front of them.

We continued on, and I even stood up and twirled to the amusement of the crowd.

When there was only a minute and a half left of the interview, Caesar made a motion to the people back stage.

"Now, Katniss, do you want to introduce us to Roan?"

I smiled, this time without force.

Some random Capitol worked walked out with small Roan in their arms, and I stood up and took him swiftly, before walking back over to Caesar.

"This is Roan Everdeen. He's about two months old, and he is the best son anyone could have asked for."

There was some aww-ing throughout the crowd, and Roan made it better by flashing a gummy smile and wiggling closer to me.

"Thank you Katniss, and thank you Roan!" Caesar said, leaning forward and rubbing a finger along Roan's forehead.

Then I was quickly bustled off the stage.

Haymitch was waiting for me, a small smile on his face.

"Good job sweetheart. You defiantly did well."

I let out a small sigh of relief.

The interview had been my biggest fear. No matter what my training score or a splash I made in the opening ceremonies, I couldn't depend on that alone to get me sponsors.

Dropping a kiss onto Roan's forehead, I sat back and watched Rye's interview.

He and Caesar worked the crowd, Rye telling small stories about back home, before Caesar said something that rocked me.

"So, Rye…I have to ask…are you Roan's father?"

Rye let out a laugh.

"No, I'm not Roan's father. I am the unofficial uncle. Roan's middle name is actually my late brother's name."

I smiled a little, even through the pang in my heart.

Caesar worked for a way to phrase a question.

"So, how do you know Katniss? Are you two friends back home?"

Rye nodded again.

"She helped me out of a tight spot, and I helped her, and from then on, we were good friends. Just friends."

That quickly put an end to those questions.

"He's good at deflecting questions."

I let out a small smile, before turning to follow Effie back to the cars.

"Yes he is."

* * *

When we got back to the training center, we had out last meals.

When I was done, I went up to the roof with Roan.

Curled in the corner where I could watch the sunset, I nursed Roan one last time. I would leave in the morning before he woke up, and then he would be stuck on some kind of formula for newborns. Apparently the women here at the Capitol didn't want to breastfeed, because they thought it 'ruined their looks.'

The vanity here made me want to shoot them.

When Roan was done, he curled closer to me, his small eyes closing.

I was just sitting there, enjoying the sunset and the feel of Roan's warm body when someone spoke from behind me.

"Well, you sure made an impression Girl On Fire."

I whirled around on the balls of my feet, making sure not to jar Roan.

Standing behind me, dressed in casual black pants and a light green shirt, was Cato, the District Two tribute.

"Thank you."

Cato walked nonchalantly to me, and I grew even more tense.

He rolled his eyes at me.

"I'm not going to hurt you Twelve."

Looking him up and down, I just said, "What do you want."

Cato looked me up and down before saying, "I'm offering you a spot in our alliance."

For a moment, I was speechless. Then my mind was racing a mile a minute.

Never, had someone from the outer districts ever become part of the Career pack.

Then again, I'm not sure any of them had ever had a son and a little sister they needed to go home to.

"Is this your idea of a joke?"

Cato scoffed.

"Hardly. You got an eleven. You obviously have some talent."

Ahh, I saw it now. I was a hot spot for sponsors. If Cato could somehow get me to join the alliance, then he would benefit too.

Giving myself time to think, I said, "Who else is in the alliance?"

Cato was still looking at me intently; it was starting to make me uncomfortable.

"One, Two, obviously, you."

That was pretty small this year.

Like he could almost see me hesitating, Cato rolled his eyes.

"This isn't a joke. You actually have a spot in our alliance. I promise that I'll protect you from the others, if they aren't too keen on you joining."

He sounded serious.

I could almost hear Haymitch yelling at me if he knew I was considering not taking the option.

Not thinking about how I was betraying Rye, not thinking about how I was letting down Prim, Mom, Gale and everyone I loved, I looked directly into his ice blue eyes and said,

"I'm in."

* * *

_"WHAT?!" _

I winced, knowing that Rye would explode when he heard what I was doing.

"I joined an alliance with the careers."

Haymitch nodded. He didn't look pleased, but he didn't look too surprised either.

"Rye, it was only a matter of time before someone asked her to be in an alliance."

Rye was breathing heavily.

I walked over to him and put my hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at me.

"Rye, I love you. You're my best friend, my brother…but I need to do what I have to do to go home to Roan and Prim…I'll keep them away from you as well as I can, I'll protect you…but please understand that."

Rye closed his eyes and threw back his head.

"How do you always seem to talk me into your idiotic plans?"

I laughed a little and gave him a hug around his middle.

"Don't worry about me though. I'm in an alliance with Thresh from District Eleven."

Immediately my thoughts flew to Rue.

Like he could read my mind, he said, "The little girl is on the alliance too. We'll protect her."

I sighed again.

Haymitch cleared his throat, and I turned to face him.

"You did the right thing sweetheart. If you had turned him down, then he would have gone after you first. All the sponsors on your side are insurance on your life. At least this way you'll be protected for a while. You'll know when to get out."

I nodded.

It was late, so I went back to my room.

The entire night, I couldn't sleep.

I spent the hours just laying on my too big bed with Roan, watching his stomach fall up and down, his eyelids flicker as he dreamed. When he woke up in the middle of the night, we stared at each other for a minute, and I stroked his cheek.

The thought of never seeing him again made my heart clench,

I loved Roan so much. Even though he wasn't planned, even though he came out of something horrible, I loved him more than my own life.

And I was willing to do anything to come home to him.

In the early morning, Cinna rapped on my door, and I stood up and let him in.

His face was solemn.

"We have to go soon."

I nodded.

I turned back to the room, and leaned down into Roan's crib. I kissed his cheek, his forehead, his nose, breathed in his smell, and ran my fingers through his hair.

Holding back tears, I took off the sweater I had wore to bed and wrapped it around him.

Then I turned and walked out of the room without looking back.

* * *

The hovercraft ride to the launching rooms was quiet and awkward.

Rye was sitting next to me, Thresh and Rue to his right.

Cato and Clove, along with Glimmer and Marvel, her district partner, were sitting across from us.

At the very end of the row I was sitting on, Coral and Finn were huddled together, and I couldn't help but hope that they made it before the Careers went hunting.

Being led into my room with Cinna, he reached into his pocket and handed me something.

It was a small pill, bright pink in color.

"Here. It's a pill to keep you from producing milk until you take the antidote. It's safe, and when you do start lactating again, it will have no harmful affect on Roan."

Blushing a little, I popped the pill and swigged some water Cinna handed me, before letting him help me into the clothes we were going to be wearing in the arena.

There were tight black pants, and thick hunting boots like the ones I wore back home. Only, on these, the laces were for decoration and the zipper was was really made them easy to get on.

The top was thin material, stretchy, but still soft. Mine was deep burgundy color, and I cracked a small smile when I saw the small flame embroidered into the bottom.

The jacket was black, layered.

"This is made to reflect back heat. So be prepared for some cold nights."

I nodded, biting my lip.

Cinna pulled one more thing out of his pocket.

"I had it changed…I thought you wouldn't mind."

In his hand was the necklace Prim had given me.

I found a small latch on the side, and when I opened it, a hand flew up to my mouth.

On one side was a picture of Roan, smiling his gummy smile.

To the right, was a picture of Peeta, Rye, Mom, Dad, Prim, and Gale, along with all my cousins. Even though the picture was tiny, it was perfectly clear.

"How-?"

Cinna let out a small smile, closing it and clipping it behind my neck.

"Haymitch. He found an old picture of Peeta from the Reaping footage, one from your Dad's identity card to work in the mines, and then he had one constructed of all of them together."

I shook my head.

"Tell him I said thank you."

It meant more to me then he could have imagined.

Now, if I died, I would die with all my loved one's faces close to my heart.

I tucked the necklace under my clothes, where it settled right in the hollow of my breasts.

Cinna kissed my forehead, before leading me to the tube in the corner.

"I'm not allowed to bet. But if I could, I would bet on you."

I couldn't say anything more to him. The door shut, sealing me in the glass tube.

I slowly acceded, and my heart tripled it's rhythm.

The arena was a forest, so I allowed myself a minute of quiet thanks.

The cornucopia was piled high with goodies. Around the outside, things were tossed around, seemingly in no pattern at all. Most of them faded with value the farther and farther away they got from the cornucopia.

There was a bow and two sheaths of silver arrows about fifty yards in front of me.

This is what I was made for. I did well with long distance running, but when it came to short sprints, I was faster than the fastest boy back home.

I crouched down in position, the countdown reverberating through my chest.

Roan's face floated in front of my mind.

Unbidden, while I waited for the sixty second countdown to end, I thought of everyone back home.

Prim, asleep, curled up around Roan.

Mom, smiling while she braided Prim's hair.

Gale, his face set in concentration as he tried to work an intricate snare.

Rye, his face serious but laughter hidden in his eyes as he worked on bread.

Dad, before he was killed in the mining accident, his hands callused but soft as he held my hand and sang a song that caused all the mockingjays to fall silent.

Peeta, blue eyes intense as he stared at me, his blood hot and sticky on my hands as I tried desperately to save him while he bled out in my arms.

The cannon sounded, and I was off my plate and to the arrows before the careers.

I drew it, my aim falling on a poor tribute, and I let the arrow fly.

Let the games begin.

* * *

**I was shocked actually that Katniss didn't become part of the Career pack in the books. She was strong enough for it, she would know when to get out, and she would have made it farther. **

**That's my reasoning behind her joining, but I know it might not sound great to everyone.**

**OK, I'm going to be out of it because my cousin is getting married over the next two days (rehearsal dinner, the actual ceremony, the reception) so can we get up to fifty reviews for this, or over? PLEASE?!**

**Anyway, next chapter coming out soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews! They made my day :) **

**I started school recently, and already I am swamped with so much work. On top of soccer, which I picked back up again...I'm gonna die. **

**But I'm going to leave happy! **

**Please keep reviewing! Next chapter there is some fluff and lots of Cato and Katniss interaction!**

**Can we get up to 70 reviews? Thank you!**

* * *

_The games change you...and when you come out, you are the exact person you didn't want to be._

_-A Title-less Fanfiction I read, can't remember off the top of my head_

* * *

Cato was the first one to reach the weapons after me, Clove, Marvel and Glimmer not far behind.

I muttered a soft "I'm sorry," before letting my arrow fly.

It hit the boy from District Seven.

The guilt would have to hit me later. I needed to focus on survival right now.

If not for me, then for Roan.

Cato had just taken out the girl from District Five, and then stabbed his sword through the heart of the small boy from District Three.

Clove and Glimmer had gotten their hands on some knives, and each of them take down the girl from District Six and the girl from District Three respectively.

I turned and hurried back to the Cornucopia, shocked a little at seeing Rye punch the girl from District Nine in the nose after she came at him with a rock. Seeing the angle he had hit her from, he must have broke her nose and shoved it into her brain, killing her instantly.

The little girl, Rue, was waiting by the edge of the forest, looking tensed to spring, but then Thresh got to her, killing the boy from Nine on his way to her. Rye hurries after them, two packs on his shoulders, and they take off into the forest.

I turn around again, and see Finn trying to make off with a backpack.

He looks at me, eyes wide with fear, and once again, I see Roan in his face.

My arrow dips down to the ground and I whisper to him furiously, "Hurry, run! Go around the side of the Cornucopia and take off for the woods."

He doesn't say anything, but the grateful look in his eyes was enough.

Cato had just stabbed the boy from District Eight in the gut, but turned to me, and flashed me a smile.

I could almost read it as, _Aren't you glad your with us and not with them?_

I gave him a curt nod, not wanting to antagonize him.

The other tributes have taken off.

Eight have been killed. Their bodies have been thrown around like rags, and the grass was slick with blood.

One of the kills had been mine.

Shaking back the guilt, I turned and started sorting through the supplies.

* * *

Gritting my teeth, I swore, if Marvel made one more bad joke I was going to knock him unconscious.

"So, what did the snail say after that? He said -"

"If you kept telling jokes, you're going to end up with an arrow down your throat because you are not damn funny?!"

There was silence and then laughter again.

Cato was literally holding himself up by the side of the cornucopia, holding his stomach, and Clove was on the ground. Glimmer was a little more dignified, but she was laughing just as hard.

Marvel looked wounded and insulted, but I raised an eyebrow at him.

Sighing, he fell down into an ungraceful heap and said, "Yes mother."

That set the others into another round of laughter.

Rolling my eyes, I looked back down to the bread that was in my hands, and finished eating.

Plopping down next to me, Cato asked a question that had me stiffening.

"So who really is the father of Roan?"

The fact that he knew my son's name made me a little wary.

Before I could answer, there was a cannon. All of our heads shot up, but we wouldn't know who it was until tonight.

Nine dead the first day.

It was almost twilight, and Clove threw a bag down by the fire.

"Put on the night vision goggles. We're going hunting."

The way she said it made me feel like she wasn't talking about for food.

Resisting the urge to bite my lip and feel bad for the tributes, I grabbed a pair of googles and threw my canteen over my shoulder, the quiver of arrows following it.

The other didn't pack heavily, so we were obviously not going to be gone for long.

Pulling on the night vision goggles, I was slightly amazed at how well I could see.

It was colder now than it was before, so I zippered up my jacket and pulled the hood up over my hair.

Cato had his spear in his hands, two more on his back. his eyes met mine, and I was still amazed at how he could be so calm about killing these children.

We all headed out, leaving a disgruntled Marvel behind to keep watch over our things.

We walked for about three hours, all of us quiet, except for the occasional chatter. Glimmer actually looked quiet deadly with knives in her hands. Her hair was still in braids over her shoulders, and her eyes were narrowed in concentration, even through the goggles.

This was the same giggly girl who held my son and made faces at him.

My eyes zoomed in on the bright light about thirty yards ahead of us.

What person would be stupid enough to light a fire at night? It was like sending up a flare and tying yourself to a tree, with a neon sign above them saying "Come kill me now!"

Cato's smile was wide, and he motioned us all to get low. It was unspoken that this was going to be his kill.

The girl was from District Seven. Her partner had been killed today.

I had killed him.

Cato didn't make any noise until he was right behind her.

"Lighting a fire is a way to get yourself killed."

The jumped, almost right into the fire.

Cato brought his spear up, examining it in the light of the fire, all the while stalking nearer and nearer to her.

"Please…please don't kill me, please!"

Glimmer and Clove were smiling, evil smiles. I kept my face blank, my arrow notched, but not drawn.

Cato suddenly moved with the grace of a wolf, stabbing his spear down hard into her thigh.

Her answering scream chilled me to the core.

She couldn't have been more than fifteen years old, and her face was thin, showing how hard her life must have been before she came to the Capitol.

Clove flung a knife out, getting the girl through the right shoulder, and she let out another wail that stabbed me through again.

Somewhere, some mother was watching us. Watching them kill and torture her daughter, watching her child suffer without any way to take away the pain. Watching the tears stream down her face and seeing the fear so plain in her face. Some mother knew that her daughter was going to be killed, and that she would suffer, and she would be forced to watch without being able to do anything.

Unable to bear it anymore, I drew an arrow and sent it through the girls throat, severing her artery and killing her instantly.

The cannon boomed, and then the others turned on me.

Clove's face was one of shock and anger, Glimmer's fury, and Cato's, something akin to respect and fury worse than Glimmer's.

"What the hell was that for?!"

I kept my face stone cold and blank.

"You were taking too long, scaring off every other tribute, and there is no need to torture. Let's move on."

Clove opened her mouth like she wanted to protect, but Cato silenced her with a look.

In a way, I was glad they didn't fight right now. All my points were valid, and for how angry they were with me for taking away their 'fun,' they wouldn't go against Cato.

After we went through the girl's small pack, we left. I saw one small flower, and before I could think about it, I took it, closed the girls eyes, and tucked it behind her ear.

Before anyone could notice, I kicked out the fire and followed them.

* * *

Marvel was beat when we came back, but he was awake.

"I'll take first watch," Cato called.

No one argued.

The sleeping bags were spread out, Glimmer near the fire, Marvel sitting up leaning against the cornucopia, Clove on her back with three knives on her belt and one in each hand.

All of them were sleeping with weapons.

I took my sleeping bag away from the others, closer to the east. The sun would rise soon and rouse me, so I could take the next watch so Cato could get some sleep.

I had a knife on my belt as well, my bow drawn and ready to my side.

With the careers, you never knew what might happen.

It was best to be prepared for any kind of situation.

_I knew it was a dream. _

_Roan was in my arms, small eyes closed. _

_We were in the arena, but I was alone. I was waiting for something, I didn't know what. _

_My hands were red and sticky, and there were knives and arrows sticking randomly out of the ground. _

_The closer I looked, the more I realized that they were fallen tributes, ones that I had killed. _

_Rye was right underneath my feet, his wide and blue eyes staring up at me in shock and pain. _

_I had killed them all. _

_I looked down at Roan in horror, but then screamed and screamed when I noticed his glassy eyes. _

_And the arrow sticking out of his neck. _

_I had killed my own son. _

I was panting when I woke up.

Sitting up, trying to catch my breath, I realized that Cato was crouched right beside me, one hand outstretched like he was going to wake me up.

For one moment, it was like we were suspended in time. His eyes were open with shock and a little bit of self-consciousness, and I'm sure I looked the same way.

Then the moment stopped and he said, "Are you fine to take the next watch?"

I nodded, standing up, packing away my sleeping bag.

Cato didn't waste time getting his own out. He just laid down near the dying fire with his sword and spears and fell asleep.

The entire time I took watch, I tried to keep the nightmare from floating up again.

There was no way I would kill Roan. The thought of it was like trying to convince myself to plunge a knife through my own heart.

I would gladly take the most painful death if it meant keeping Roan alive, if it meant that I didn't have to kill him.

Rye…I didn't want to think about him.

If it came down to just him and me in the arena, I wasn't sure what I would do. Would I be able to survive with the memory of killing my best friend, after everything he had done for me?

But on the other hand, could I really leave Roan parentless?

Could I raise him knowing I had killed for him?

Would he have nightmares and hate me if he knew I was a murderer?

Rubbing my sore eyes, I tried not to worry about it.

I wasn't even sure if I was going to make it out of this alive.

* * *

Everyone was awake after a couple of hours.

Glimmer fussed endlessly about her hair, until I finally cracked and said, "Do you want me to braid it for you?"

Glimmer looked at me with shock, and I'm sure I looked shocked too.

Clove and Marvel looked shocked, and Cato didn't even look up.

Glimmer scrutinized me, but when she saw I was being honest, she nodded.

I thought back to how I had done my braid when I was actually making an effort, which wasn't often.

Starting at the top right temple, I twisted her long blond hair, picking up a little each time.

When I got to right below her left ear, I switched to regular braiding, before trying it off and letting it fall down over her shoulder.

Now it was styled, out of her face, and over her shoulder where it wouldn't get grabbed by any branches or trees when she was running.

After running her hand over the braids and looking at her reflection in the cornucopia, she said thanks and then moved on to get ready for the day.

Cato stretched his hands over his head.

"OK, hunting time!"

Marvel whooped, grabbing his backpack and throwing it over his shoulder.

I looked to Cato, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you think we should leave out stuff unguarded?"

It felt weird to rope myself in with them. It seemed unnatural.

Cato shrugged.

"We're going to be taking more than enough food with us, there are no other weapons, there really isn't a need to guard it. We'll be gone overnight, and I'm pretty sure most of them are going to steer clear of here."

Not liking it, I just decided to pack more food and medical supplies, just in case something happened.

I could hunt as well, I could find herbs and plants, but I just didn't want Cato to lose his head if we did get robbed.

Not three minutes later, we were deep in the forest, looking around.

My legs started burning and I only took sips of water when the others did, but I didn't complain.

When we finally stopped for a break, we all ate lunch.

Cato was pacing around, looking like he was operating at top speed, even when he was operating on only about four hours of sleep.

What kind of training did they put them through?

Clove looked the same, even more alert because she got more sleep.

Marvel looked like he was literally bursting from excitement and happiness.

Glimmer just looked calm.

Their lives were so different than mine…to them, killing children was a sport, something that they were good at.

How could they live knowing what they have done?

I took another swig of my water and ate some jerky, just trying to keep my mind off the deep topics it kept thinking up these days.

* * *

**Ehh, not a very long and interesting chapter, but there was some action! I thought that Katniss, if she did become part of the Career pack, would be the one to put the tributes out of their misery, just kill them and have it be done for. **

**The Tributes are listed below. The italic ones are dead, and in the parentheses are who killed them. **

District One - Marvel and Glimmer

District Two - Cato and Clove

District Three - _Boy _and _Girl_ (Glimmer and Cato)

District Four - Finn and Coral

District Five - _Girl_ and Boy (Cato)

District Six - _Girl_ and Boy (Clove)

District Seven - _Boy _and _Girl_ (Katniss for both)

District Eight - _Boy_ and Girl (Cato)

District Nine - _Boy_ and _Girl_ (Rye and Thresh)

District Ten - Boy and Girl

District Eleven - Rue and Thresh

District Twelve - Katniss and Rye


	6. Chapter 6

**OHH! Katoness, and surprising twists! And the story about Roan's history comes to life! **

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! I love them all! Can we get to eighty, eighty five for this one? I'm trying to reach 100 before chapter ten!**

**Please keep reviewing! Hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

_"If we burn, you burn with us!"_

_-Katniss Everdeen_

* * *

We didn't find any other tributes, and moods and energy levels were flagging.

In other words, I didn't really enjoy being around them as much.

They were in each other's throats for the stupidest things, like breathing too loud or looking at someone else the wrong way.

Eventually, they stopped and made camp for the night.

Not trusting any of them to take first watch until they cooled down some, I volunteered for first watch. Then I could get a couple of hours straight sleep, and make sure they didn't kill each other in their sleep.

Dear god, I felt like I was a mother taking care of four children.

Soon, Glimmer and Clove and Marvel were dead asleep, weapons in their hands.

Cato was the only one who was still awake.

"Go to sleep. You've had less than all of us."

Cato shrugged.

"I've been through training to work through fatigue."

Of course he had. I wouldn't be surprised if they made him run through fire or swim until he thought he would drown, or even stab himself in different parts of his body to get used to pain if he got injured.

We had been sitting together in silence for a good three hours when I smelt the smoke.

I turned to the fire, but there wasn't a lot of smoke…it had been banked.

I turned to Cato, and he was already up and turning around, trying to see where the smell of smoke was coming from.

There was a hissing noise, before Cato side tackled me to the ground.

He landed on top of me, arms and legs bracing himself so he didn't land on top of me fully and crush me with his weight.

For one heart stopping minute, his face was hovering inches above mine. If I moved my head the slightest bit, out noses would touch.

Then I saw out of the corner of my eye the fireball hit a tree and cause it to catch on fire.

Cato hauled himself off of me, eyes blazing.

"Everybody up!"

Glimmer and Marvel opened their eyes and jumped to their feet, three split seconds after Clove.

We left the fire, grabbed what we could along with our weapons, and then ran as fast as we could in the other direction.

The fire was licking at our heels, and I heard more of those fireballs come flying at us.

Marvel and Glimmer got separated from us quickly, followed by Clove when a flaming tree fell down.

My head was swimming from my smoke inhalation, and my legs burned.

Cato's eyes were furious and scared above mine before he grabbed my hand and pulled me faster.

There was suddenly a burning pain in my right calf, and I screamed.

Cato turned again, cursing loudly and quickly. Drawing my arm over his shoulders and his arm around my waist, he dragged me along, my legs trying desperately to work through the pain.

The air was thick and hot, the fire was burning us, but somehow we made it to the lake.

Cato and I both fell in, my grasping a rock, him diving down deep and then coming back up.

The fire continued to rage throughout the forest, before dying after an hour, leaving all the trees perfectly intact.

The water felt so good against my burns, and I slowly moved around, washing the soot and ash out of my hair.

Cato had stripped off his shirt and was now doing the same as I was.

Thank god I no longer blushed when I saw a guy shirtless. Truth be told, he had lots of muscles and abs, along with scars criss-crossing his body.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at my calf and almost vomited.

The burn was disgusting. The skin was a bright red, bubbled and blistered. The material from around my pants had seared to my skin, black and burning me even more.

"We need to dress it."

I jumped, if you could jump in water, when Cato spoke.

He was learning over me, his face uncharacteristically concerned.

I let him help me back to shore.

Raising my calf on my pack, I grabbed a piece of bark to bite on before I peeled the burned part back from my pants.

I bit down hard enough to snap the branch, and I tried to focus on something else other than the pain.

Cato's hand, large and gentle, started pulling the charred pieces back even more.

A beeping noise over us made us look up, and I saw a small canister fall from the sky, a parachute attached.

Cato grabbed the small canister and looking inside, before poking two fingers into it. I knew from the pungent smell that it was some kind of ointment to help my burn. I threw my head back, so thankful I had sponsors.

Cato applied some of the burn ointment, and the effect was instant. The pain faded, and before our eyes, the wound started to knit back together, the blisters draining and then healing back to normal skin.

In a couple of hours, my wound would be totally gone.

Suddenly, I thought back to all the burns that we saw back home. All the men and woman and children who died from the burns and the infections from the coal dust that was around.

If we had only had some kind of medicine like this back home. So many wouldn't have died.

When he was done, I wrapped it up with some gauze from the first aid kit I had bought (thank god) and then turned to Cato.

The ends of his hair were singed a little on the back, and he had burns on his arms and one on the back of his neck.

"Sit down," I said, hauling myself up onto a rock so I would be taller than him.

He complied, sitting down.

While he downed some water, I cleaned out his wounds. His burns were better than mine in some areas, in some areas worse. The strength he had to keep from flinching was remarkable.

When all of his burns were treated with the ointment, I leaned back on the rock and tilted my head up to the sky.

The sun went down, and there were no words exchanged except for who would take the first watch and who would collect the fire wood.

After a quick hunting journey, I roasted two squirrels and cooked them, giving the bigger to Cato.

We were silent, until the anthem came on. Turning around, I saw the faces of the two tributes of District 10 and the boy from District Six.

There was silence, but the relief was tangible in the air. Marvel and Glimmer and Clove were still alive.

It was strange how my little misfit crew seems to be almost…friends now.

"How are Clove and the others gonna know where we are?"

Cato considered it, before standing up and letting out a loud, ear piercing whistle.

The whistle echoed for a little while, before it suddenly came back, higher, and then a lower whistle.

"She'll know."

I looked at him with respect, and for a second, I think he actually smiled back.

* * *

Cato and I were awake for a while. I had dozed off when suddenly, I heard a scuffle. A muffled curse. A sound of pain.

I jerked up, looking to the forest. Cato was already up with his sword in hand, so I grabbed my bow and we went to investigate.

What I saw made my heart stop.

Rye and Thresh were fighting the boy from District Five and the girl from District Eight in a small meadow. Rue was no where to be seen.

I turned to Cato and hissed, "Duck out of sight!"

Cato furrowed his brow but actually did what I asked him to do, which was a miracle in of itself.

I hurried closer to the fray, but I wasn't fast enough.

It seemed like everything happened in slow motion, like a nightmare, and I couldn't make myself move fast to stop it.

The girl from District Eight seemed to realize that their fight was futile, and turned and ran, Thresh running after her.

Just as that happened, Rye turned to look to see what happened to his ally.

And the boy from District Five stabbed him straight through his stomach.

"NO!" I screamed, my arrow flying into the neck of the boy.

It was too late though. Even as the cannon boomed for District Five, Rye was on the ground.

I hurried over, still in slight disbelief.

Rye was gasping for breath, and I yanked the sword out, throwing it a distance away.

Trying to recall back to the medicine I had learned, I pressed down hard on Rye's wound.

"No, no, you are not dying on me! Rye! _RYE!"_

His blue eyes, so like Peeta's, were wide open and glazed.

"I'm…I'm sorry Katniss…"

My eyes filled up with tears, but I refused to let them fall.

"You're going to be fine, I promise."

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry I couldn't save you…that night…when Peeta…when he died."

I bit my lip.

"It's OK Rye. That night gave me Roan. I wouldn't change him for the world…"

Rye's eyes were vacant.

"I'll see him again…I'll see my brother again."

I softly smoothed his hair back, my throat closing up.

Rye coughed, blood trickling down his chin.

"S…Sing?"

Rye had always asked me to sing when he had came to visit Roan and I.

I nodded, thinking desperately of a hopeful song…but coming up blank.

I eventually decided on the lullaby I used on Roan sometimes.

_Deep in the meadow_

_Under the willow_

_A bed of grass_

_A soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head_

_And close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open_

_The sun will rise…_

My hand found Rye's hand, the way it did when I had been giving birth to Roan. The way it had when he helped me up from a chair when I was too heavy to move easily. The way it was in the chariot when we went into this nightmare together.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

Rye's hand tightened on mine, and his eyes found mine, wide and glassy, but encouraging me to finish the song.

_Here is the place where I love you_

And I did love Rye, like a brother. He had been there for me and Roan when no one else was. He kept us alive after Peeta died, after my life had been turned to hell.

It might have started when he felt guilt for not being able to stop those men from hurting me, but it became a friendship that had to be broken by these games.

Rye's breath came in jerks now. One of my hands was still in his, the other smoothing down his hair, trying to make his last moments happy.

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_Forget your woes_

_And let your troubles lay_

_And when again it's morning_

_They'll wash away_

He stilled in my arms, a small smile on his face, his chest not rising anymore. The blood still ran down his sides from the wound in his stomach.

I had to finish the song though. For all the times that Rye had helped me, hugged me, played with Roan, baked bread for me and Prim, for all the times he smiled and made each day from Peeta's death a little bit easier.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you_

He never moved again.

My eyes finally let the tears go.

I closed his glassy eyes, zipped up his jacket to hide the ugly wound, and folded his hands across his stomach.

Seeing some daisies around the edge of the trees, I picked a handful, placing them under his clasped hands.

After gathering up my bow and arrow, I kissed his forehead, gave him the three finger salute, and then strode out of the meadow, tears making tracks down my face.

I walked right to the lake, not even looking for Cato. I had just realized he must have seen everything, but I couldn't deal with it.

My best friend was dead.

He was dead.

Rye was _dead_.

The sobs broke forth from my chest, and I collapsed near the fire.

I didn't care if the whole country was seeing my mental breakdown. I didn't care if they thought I was weak, and I sure as hell didn't care if I was losing sponsors.

I unclasped my necklace, and opened it, running my fingers over Rye's smiling face, and the sobs got louder.

My eyes found Roan's small face, and the tears kept running down my face.

Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder, and I knew without looking that it was Cato.

When I finally looked up, I saw his face.

He looked awkward, like he had no idea what to do, but only that he needed to do something.

I twisted my fingers through his, and cried some more.

* * *

Later on in the night, when the crying jag was over and all I could do was sit around numb, Cato was still on watch.

Every once in a while, he would shoot me a glance, as if to make sure I didn't turn nuts and stab a knife in my heart.

Then again, he might have been freaked out. He had held my hand until I calmed down enough to think again. When I gave his hand a slight squeeze and stood up, he had squeezed back and then turned around.

I sat by the fire, just staring into it. Cato was technically on watch, but I couldn't sleep.

It was like Peeta all over again. I lost them both. They both bleed out in my arms with nothing I could do to save them.

Cato was next to me, his eyes roaming around. He looked like he was going to ask something but didn't know how. I guess curiosity won out, because he asked anyway.

"What did he mean? When he said he was sorry he couldn't save you the night when his brother died…the night that gave you Roan?"

I sighed. I was so bone-deep weary. I had almost forgotten he had been able to hear everything.

I didn't want to relieve what had happened to me that night, because of why it happened. I hated showing weakness, and I hated thinking about the day.

But seeing the look in Rye's eyes when he was dying…everyone needed to know the truth. If not for me, but for him. He needed to be known as I knew him, as an amazing friend who risked everything to help someone.

Everyone needed to know about Peeta.

And everyone needed to know about the Capitol corruption.

"When I was thirteen, my father died and our family was struggling. My mother fell into a depression, and I was left alone to take care of Prim. I tried to keep us going…but then in one dry spell, I was desperate."

I took a deep breath, and said, "There is this Peacekeeper, Cray...who will pay girls…who pays them for nights."

Cato's horror was evident.

"I…I was fourteen when I went to him for the first time."

I closed my eyes, trying to forget the weight of him on top of me, the way he grabbed at me, like he owned me. The pain and the blood, my broken pride and horror.

"I went to him a couple of times over the years. I couldn't let Prim be taken from my mother from neglect, and I couldn't let us starve."

"So…is he the father of Roan?"

"No. He could have been, but he demanded a paternity test. Once he found out that he wasn't, I knew."

There was silence.

"Knew?"

Here was the secret I had hid so deep in my heart, one that had festered like a blister.

"One night, I was walking back from his house, and I was out of it…he had hit me a couple of times, smacked my head…I was foggy. I had a concussion. Three of the Town boys got me in an alley behind the bakery. I fought them, but I was weak, and they had a knife. One of them threatened to kill me, another threatened to kill Prim, or do the same to her."

The tears welled up in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall again.

I think I cried more this night than I have since Peeta's death.

"I fought back, and screamed. Peeta… he was Rye's brother. Peeta was my age. He jumped into the fray, and tried to help me, but they stabbed him with a knife. Rye came out, but he got knocked out."

I took a deep breath, still able to smell the copper smell of blood in the air, feel the hot liquid pulsing over my hands as I tried in vain to keep Peeta alive.

"Peeta died in my arms. He had told me he loved me, and I said it back, because I didn't want his last moments to be sad…and maybe because I did love him. He and I had talked when we were younger, and he was always nice to me... He had smiled at me, even with his blood everywhere."

I drew my knees up to my chest.

"What happened to the others?"

I let a small smile come across my face. At least some of them got what they deserved.

"The one who raped me got thrown into a wall by Peeta. He died in a coma three days later. The others are rotting in prison. They will never get out."

"It was just like Rye, Cato…I lost the both of them. They both bleed out in my arms, and I couldn't save them. I couldn't keep them alive. They were good, and I let them die. It was my fault."

Cato opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head.

What could he say?

"Three weeks later I realized I was pregnant. I gave birth to Roan, and named him after Peeta and Rye. I used 'R' for Roan, and Peeta as his middle name."

Cato gave me another look.

"How could you go through with everything? Knowing what had cause him."

I raised an eyebrow at Cato.

"I don't know honestly. I never wanted kids, never wanted to get married. I was terrified. Rye was a big part of me getting over it. He kept me sane."

A look crossed his face; it looked almost like jealousy.

"But, to answer your question…when I held him in my arms…it changed. His conception came from something horrible, but I loved him. He was my baby, a little person for me to love and to protect, and nothing will change that."

"What are you going to tell him when he asks how he was born?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"The truth. I won't lie to him. But I will make sure he knows that I loved him from the moment I knew I was pregnant, and if he doesn't believe me, I will tell him until he get's it through his head."

Cato let out a small laugh.

I tried to laugh too, but my throat

"I can't…Cato, they're gone. And it's my fault."

He didn't say anything. What was there to say?

Three minutes later, there was a piercing whistle, this time closer than the first one.

"They're coming."

I nodded, before crawling into my sleeping bag and tried to hold back the tears.

Touching my locket, I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that Roan was curled up next to me, and Rye would come to wake me up in the morning and we would make bread for Prim.

* * *

In the end, it seemed like it wouldn't matter if Clove and the others got to us.

I was dozing, finally, and Cato was poking at the fire. There was a cackling in the air, and we looked up, a little surprised. What would they be offering? We weren't in here long enough for someone to need something desperately.

"T-tributes! G-go to the C-c-cornicopia and wait! The Reb-rebellion has begun! S-s-stick together! Oh, god, no please, no please no - "

Then there was the unmistakable sound of something whizzing through the air, Claudius' scream of pain, a thump, then static.

The mic cut out and Cato and I were left looking at each other in horror.

* * *

**AliceW got it in chapter 4! Some of you guys came so close it was scary.**

** And I did change somethings for the sake of our story.**

**Also, sorry if this seems a little bit rushed. The next chapter is OFFICIALLY THE START OF THE REBELLION!**

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**WARNING! This chapter is going to contain some colorful language. It is Cato and Marvel after all!**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! Think we can break one hundred today?**

* * *

Recap: _In the end, it seemed like it wouldn't matter if Clove and the others got to us. _

_I was dozing, Cato was poking at the fire. There was a cackling in the air, and we looked up, a little surprised. What would they be offering now?_

_"T-tributes! G-go to the C-c-cornicopia and wait! The Reb-rebellion has begun! S-s-stick together! Oh, god, no please, no please - "_

_Then there was the unmistakable sound of something whizzing through the air, Claudius' scream of pain, a thump, then static. _

_The mic cut out and Cato and I were left looking at each other in horror. _

* * *

"What the fuck?"

My sentiments exactly.

We were staring at each other, our minds reeling.

"Are they kidding? Are they serious?"

It could have been a sick game twisted up by the Capitol…trying to make us friends before we have to kill each other. It could have been something…

Suddenly, my heart started beating fast.

"Roan! Oh my god, ROAN!"

My chest was contracting, and I felt like I was going to die.

Roan…Roan was in the Capitol.

The Rebellion…

Oh god.

Cato grabbed my shoulders, shaking me a little.

"Katniss! Calm down, Haymitch and the other mentors are with him…"

I shook my head, my heart beating three thousand times a minute.

There was rustling behind us right now, and we both jumped, weapons held high.

"What the fuck was that message about?!"

Clove.

Cato let out a sigh, and ruffled her hair, almost in a big brother kind of way.

Glimmer and Marvel came through. Well, Marvel was carrying Glimmer, who had burns up and down her right side.

Glad for the distraction, I applied some medicine to them, and then gave her some water.

When I was done, all I could do was pace.

Where was Roan? Was he safe? Would they kill him?

Oh my god, I would kill myself if something happened to him.

"What's that?"

Looking up to where Marvel pointed, there was a large basket drifting down, with a large '12' on the bottom of it.

"It's for you Katniss."

Cato caught the basket as it came down; he grunted, a little surprised by the weight. I was too, when he handed it to me.

I placed it gently on the ground and opened it.

My hand flew up to cover my mouth, the other gripping the basket even harder.

Inside it was Roan, peacefully asleep, clutching a letter in his hands.

* * *

To say I flipped out was an understatement.

I grabbed Roan like my life depended on it, and held him close. He jerked awake, eyes filling up to cry as he was awaken rudely from his nap.

After a moment, he stopped fussing and then buried his head in my neck.

It was all too much.

Rye dying, the Rebellion, Roan being here when I had been worried about him being killed…

As much as I hated showing weakness, I cried.

Again.

Oh god, Gale was never going to let me live this down.

When I finally calmed down enough to read the letter, a small tin fell out.

I popped it open and realized that they were the pills to make me produce milk again.

Were we going to be in the arena for that long? Wouldn't the rebels want to get us out?

Quickly swallowing them with some water, I shifted Roan into one arm and then read the letter out loud. It was written in Haymitch's script, hurriedly and the bottom was dotted with something that looked suspiciously like dried blood.

_Katniss, _

_I don't have much time, but what you need to know is that you need to stick together with the other tributes, as much as I hate telling you this. You need to keep them all safe until someone comes for you. _

_The Rebels reacted to your story and what happened with Rye. You are the face of the rebellion, which means that the Capitol, or what is left, is trying to keep you prisoner, and the rebels are trying to get you and the others out. _

_Stay together, and stay alive. _

I passed the letter around, and watched the other's read the letter with varying levels of emotions.

"So, what are we going to do? Just sit tight until something happens?"

"No. We need to go to the Cornucopia. The other tributes should make their way there over the next few days. It's central and near water, so we should be good as far as supplies for a while."

Cato, ever the leader.

"We need to wait a night before we go. Glimmer needs time to heal," I said back. And mentally I added, _I need time to absorb the fact I am now the face of a rebellion_.

Cato nodded, before turning around and helping the other sort through materials.

Roan had nodded off on my shoulder, but I kept a tight grip on him, only noticing now he was dressed in the clothes from home. If I strained, I could still smell traces of coal and smoke.

He had gotten a little plumper in the past week, his hair a little longer. He was still small, still my little baby. He still couldn't keep his head up for long, and still had trouble articulating his sounds.

But I was so happy to see him.

I headed towards the fire, and tucked him into the sleeping bag with me, his small little body reflecting heat back at me. I propped myself up on one elbow and had him play with one of my fingers.

Honestly, we could have been back in District 12, the capitol, or anywhere else.

When I was with Roan, I was home.

* * *

I stayed up most of the night, watching Roan sleep. Seeing his eyelids flicker with his dreams, his mouth move as if he was hungry, and just running my hands over his head, as if to convince myself he was real and I wasn't just dreaming.

Glimmer was a little better in the morning, good enough so that Marvel and Cato could take turns carrying her through the woods and to the Cornucopia.

My thoughts flickered to Rue, Rye and Thresh when we walked through the meadow where Rye died. The grass was still stained red.

I looked away, keeping my eyes focused on the ground until we got farther away.

Mentally counting down who was left, I realized with a jolt that there was only seven of us left, eight if you included Roan.

Had so many died already?

We reached the Cornucopia at around midday, and we all collapsed, exhausted after our first real hike after the fire; our lungs were still healing from the smoke, I don't think that they were ready for the miles long trek.

My milk had started to flow again, as I found out slightly embarrassingly. Thank god I was in a jacket over my loose shirt.

I had fed Roan on the go, letting him drink while I kept my jacket tied around my neck. I had fallen behind everyone, for my careful foot placement as I walked with Roan.

Roan had fallen asleep again after looking over my shoulder for a long time at the forest. Sometimes, when Glimmer was conscious, she would coo at him, or even Clove would give him the barest hints of a smile.

Sighing, I thought about the others, Coral and Finn and Thresh and Rue, and wondered if they would come to the Cornucopia.

I knew I would't; I would be too afraid of what they would do, if they would kill you none the less.

So imagine my surprise when I see Finn's small head poking around a tree.

I turned, putting my weapons down, making sure he saw it.

I turned, making sure to hold Roan in front of me. I saw the shock on Finn's face.

"You can come here. No one will hurt you, I promise. I wouldn't be here with my son if something was going to happen."

Finn looked cautiously over my shoulder, and when I turned, I saw Cato standing there.

"He may seem big and scary, but he can be…decent. He won't hurt you.."

Cato raised an eyebrow at my description of him, but he turned and went back to the fire that Marvel was starting.

I reached out a hand, and waited patiently for Finn to come out from behind the tree.

Finn walked slowly, poised to run if it turned brutal. My heart broke for this little boy, who should have never been here in the first place.

Finn reached out to take my hand, and I walked with him slowly back to the camp.

Clove looked up when she saw us, and even gave a little smile.

In the past couple of days, I realized just how childlike these other's were. We were only in our teens, and we had all gone through hell.

I wondered if this whole 'sticking together thing' was going to work.

If it didn't, I was grabbing a pack of food, weapons, and getting the hell out of there with the little ones.

This was a whole different ball game now.

Everything was tense for a couple of hours, and Finn stuck to me like glue. Roan was pretty quiet, and had actually been passed to Glimmer, who had been thrilled to see him.

There was rustling behind us, and when we turned, I saw Coral, Thresh and Rue, all looking at us in a mixture of distrust and wonderment.

Clove raised a hand, and Marvel yelled, "Trust me, we're not killing. We need to figure out what the fuck is going on."

And just like that, we were all a team.

* * *

Just because we were all a team, didn't mean that we weren't all wary of each other.

Rue clung to Thresh like Finn clung to me, and Coral was the in-between. Roan was never out of my sight for more than three minutes at a time.

Finally, Clove had seemed to build up from the tension and exploded, "We're not going to kill you! For crying out loud, just chill out."

Rue had laughed and Thresh had even cracked a smile.

Slowly, we realized that the Gamemakers hadn't been kidding with us. There had been no day change, just sunny all the time.

"What are we supposed to do? How are we going to get out?" Clove asked, sharpening some of her knives and showing Rue how to through them.

I smiled a little; Clove had a little soft spot for kids I realized.

Rue had her small hand wrapped around it and was trying to hit a make shift target, and was actually doing pretty well.

"I think we're pretty much screwed until they decide to take us out."

I had just finished changing Roan (they had some diapers in the basket they sent, along with a couple of changes of clothes and soap), and then turned to Marvel, who had just spoken.

"Do you think there is any way we can break down the force field?"

Cato turned to me and furrowed his brow.

"No, I don't think there is. Not unless it is bombed or something from the outside.

Glimmer, who was now fully recovered from her burns, sighed.

"Terrific. We're stuck."

I cast a look over to the mountain of supplies that we had. We would be good for a while, but then what would we do?

Coral got up and stretched, wincing when her back cracked a little.

"I'm going to go fishing. Anyone want to come with me?"

Finn stood up, waving his hand in the air. Rue also turned, handing Clove back her knives.

"OK you two, let's go!"

The three of them went to the lake.

Cato turned again, and said, "OK, now that the young ones aren't here, what are we going to do?"

Thresh, who had been a silent pillar for a long time, said, "We need to try to survive."

"No kidding. But how are we going to get out of here! We can't stay here forever, we know they're trying to capture/kill/keep us prisoner!"

I was chewing on my lip, trying to think.

I needed to get Roan, and everyone else, out.

Suddenly, there was screaming from the lake.

Everyone jumped up and grabbed weapons, before sprinting away.

Rue and Finn were running to us.

"Coral got bit by a snake!"

Quickly, I handed Roan to Rue (she had a lot of experience with holding kids, and I trusted her) and ran with Cato and Marvel to the lake.

Coral was crumpled on the shore, muffled sobs trying to escape from her mouth.

Marvel moved her hands from her ankle, where she had been bitten.

"Suck the venom out!" Cato hissed.

They must have had some sort of training with these kinds of things.

Marvel shook his head, eyes sad.

"The wound closed over. These weren't normal snakes."

Coral winced and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Am I going to die?"

Breath caught in my throat.

She was only two years older than Prim, two years younger than me. She didn't deserve this.

Cato turned to me, face an emotionless mask. I wondered if it was his way of protecting his heart or if he just didn't feel anything for the girl.

Then again, how he hissed at Marvel to help her made me thing it was the former.

"You're going to be fine Coral. There's some medicine back at the Cornucopia. Marvel, take her back. I'm going to look for some herbs to help speed along the heeling process."

Marvel nodded, before moving back swiftly, Coral cradled in his arms like a small child.

Cato turned to me, eyes hooded.

"She's not going to make it, is she?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I started carefully looking around for the snake that had bit her.

I was in luck. It was curled up in a pile sunning itself, like it had not a care in the world.

Quickly, I grabbed it behind it's head and pulled it up.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

The snake was a bright blue color, something so unnatural that it had to be Capitol engineered. The fangs were three inches long, and deadly sharp.

"Do you know what kind of snake this is?"

Cato gently put his hand over mine and too the snake from me. Grabbing the whipping tail, he pressed on a point until another sharp stinger popped out of the back.

"This is a Blue Death snake. Coral won't survive the week."

I shook my head, grabbing some more herbs and plants that would bring down fever and drain poison.

"Yes she will."

"Katniss-"

I cut him off.

"I am not going to let her die Cato."

"It would be the merciful thing."

"What do you mean?"

Cato, with what looked like a small flex of his hand, crushed the head of the snake and threw it away.

"Blue Death will cause her to have a fever at first. Normally you can suck the venom out of a bite, but their's heals over instantly. The venom spreads slowly, burning you from the inside out, leaving your skin a pale blue color. Near the end, you hallucinate, and cough up blood. You're entire body feels like it's on fire. And then, you die. You're heart gives out."

He had a far away look in his eyes, like he had been at the receiving end of the bite himself.

"What's the cure?"

Cato shrugged.

"It's some kind of medicine in the Capitol. With the Rebellion and all, I don't think Coral will be getting any help soon."

Guilt threatened to choke me. It was my fault for the uprising.

I tried to convince myself that the Capitol would have killed her anyway, or someone else.

It didn't help.

I took a deep breath, and started back to the Cornucopia.

I wasn't going to let her die.

* * *

**Drama! **

**I know, not a lot of Cato and Katniss in this chapter, but next one, hopefully. **

**Sorry for taking so long to update, but school is literally kicking my ass. It is not pleasant. **

**Please review! I hope to have the next chapter out within the next week, fingers crossed!**


	8. Notice

Hey Readers!

Sorry I haven't updated anything lately, but I have a valid excuse, the most vile word in the history of a student's life in high school and college:

Exams.

Yup, I have Exam Week (AKA HELL) soon, and I am studying like mad.

BUT my important note, for all you Hunger Games Fans, is that I have joined a collaboration with 23 other authors, with their own tribute, to write about the Tenth Hunger Games. My tribute is Grayson 'Storm' Nerva, and the chapter is up now!

It's under the account "24 for 24" and I am putting a link on my profile.

Please go check it out and review and tell me what you think about him!

It was literally the longest thing I ever wrote for Fanfiction in one chapter, it was five thousand plus words...

Please check it out!

Lots of Love,

IL2W13

P.S. I will update Call of the Phoenix ASAP, I promise! Thank you all for your sweet reviews and your patience!

Here is a sneak peek, cause y'all are so awesome!

P.P.S. PLEASE check out my Wattpad account, I have posted ORIGINAL stories there! Link on my profile!

* * *

Coral smiled at me, her lips chapped and cracked, and showed me the token she had gotten from her home district.

It was a ring, woven from some kind of thin thread, a light greenish brown in color.

"It was from one of the nets the younger kids use when they're out at sea. They get turned green from the salt in the ocean."

I smiled back at her.

"My best friend, Tai, said he'd love me forever, and he gave me this ring. He and I are going to get married when we get older, and have a home right by the ocean, so we can hear the slapping of the waves. He'll go fishing, and I'll find oysters, and maybe one day, there will be a pearl in it."

The pearl comment makes me think of Effie, and the thought of naive, innocent, Effie, made the tears even harder to keep at bay.

My heart clenches. Coral will never be able to have that, not like this. Even though she was slowly being poisoned by the venom of the snake, she still had hope.

I ran a hand through her hair, trying not to notice how hot and feverish she felt, and said, "I know. And I'll be there smiling for you."

Coral smiled at me again, her lips chapped and her eyes bright with fever, but with all the love in the world shinning through.

I don't know how I kept the tears away.


	9. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Chapter was up sooner than I thought!**

**This chapter literally broke my heart to write. I looked like a moron typing in the library and crying, but since it is exam week, I don't think anyone was judging me. **

**Thank you all, and please, again, go check out the 24 for 24 collab! Link on my profile!**

* * *

_"Where did I go wrong?_

_I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life."_

_How To Save a Life, The Fray_

* * *

We managed to get Coral comfortable on a bed made out of pine needles and a sleeping bag over it.

Coral was curled up on her side, shivering and sweating. Her ankle had swollen to the size of an apple.

Already the skin around her wound was a pale blue color.

Thresh kept Rue away, had her busy gathering food and medicinal herbs for me. She was old enough to understand death, but young enough that we wanted to keep her away from it.

Glimmer had taken over Roan babysitting, leaning against the Cornucopia and having him propped on her knees, so she could play with his small hands. I wondered if she had siblings back in District One.

Marvel and Cato were talking in hushed tones while Finn and I kept vigil over Coral.

"She's going to get better, right?"

Finn spoke for the first time in a long while, keeping his eyes glued to Coral's sleeping face.

I didn't want to lie to him.

"I hope so."

Finn was quiet for a couple more minutes before saying, "She saved me one time. She's my neighbor back home. When we had gone out fishing, I had gotten tangled in the nets. Coral dove in, pulled me out, and brought me back to life."

No wonder the little boy had such a connection to her.

I reached over and ran my hands through his curly hair, smoothing it down and trying to give him some comfort.

"We're going to do everything we can Finn. Why don't you take a break and go play with Roan for a while? I'm sure Glimmer would love to have the company."

Finn looked like he was going to argue, but then Coral gave a shuddering cough, and he bolted like a bat out of hell.

I scooted closer to Coral's head and rested it in my lap, putting a wet cloth on her forehead.

Coral's eyes opened, wide and bright with fever.

"I'm dying, aren't I?"

I bit my lip.

Coral didn't say anything, just turned her head to look around.

"Where…where's Finn?"

"I sent him away for a little while. He had been sitting here for hours before you woke up."

"Don't let him see me like this…he's just a kid, don't let him-" She coughed again, a couple of small specks of blood coming out of her mouth. When she saw it, she whimpered.

I hastily wiped them away, before smoothing back her hair like I had done with Finn.

"I want to go home," she whimpered pitifully.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat.

"Tell me about your home and your family and your friends…soon you'll be back there."

Coral told me about her mother and father and little brother, Nate, who was only five years old. They would go fishing on the boat they shared with their neighbors, Finn's family.

"I promised my mom I would come home, but I didn't mean it. Finn is too young, he deserves to live."

She told me about the ocean, great and wide and salty and blue, where she was more at home than when she was on dry land.

Coral smiled at me, her lips chapped and cracked, and showed me the token she had gotten from her home district.

It was a ring, woven from some kind of thin thread, a light greenish brown in color.

"It was from one of the nets the younger kids use when they're out at sea. They get turned green from the salt in the ocean."

I smiled back at her.

"My best friend, Tai, said he'd love me forever, and he gave me this ring. He and I are going to get married when we get older, and have a home right by the ocean, so we can hear the slapping of the waves. He'll go fishing, and I'll find oysters, and maybe one day, there will be a pearl in it."

The pearl comment makes me think of Effie, and the thought of naive, innocent, Effie, made the tears even harder to keep at bay.

My heart clenches. Coral will never be able to have that, not like this. Even though she was slowly being poisoned by the venom of the snake, she still had hope.

I ran a hand through her hair, trying not to notice how hot and feverish she felt, and said, "I know. And I'll be there smiling for you."

Coral smiled at me again, her lips chapped and her eyes bright with fever, but with all the love in the world shinning through.

I don't know how I kept the tears away.

* * *

Three nights later, Coral died.

Cato woke me up in the middle of the nigh, his eyes somber. I flew out of my sleeping bag and hurtled to the tent where we put Coral.

She was shivering, blood running out of the corner of her mouth.

"Tai…Tai, I miss you…"

She was hallucinating.

Slowly, the blue had crept up pass her ankle, up her leg to her waist and to her torso. Now, she was almost blue everywhere, minus her face.

She reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight. The heat from her skin almost burned me.

Coral mumbled about Tai, her parents and her brother, before coughing one more time and going limp.

After a couple of minutes, I rested Coral's hand back on the ground, tucking her deeper into the sleeping bag, rearranging her hair so that it spread out in a halo around her head.

I didn't know I was crying until the spot showed up on my pants from where they dripped down my face.

Cato put a hand on my shoulder again, like he had done when Rye had died.

I didn't let myself grieve for long. There was a little boy who needed to know his friend was gone.

Stumbling out of the tent, I walked across the small clearing to where Finn was sleeping next to the fire.

Resting a hand lightly on his shoulders, he jumped up and looked at me with fear in his eyes.

He must have read it right from my face.

"No…no, no, no, NO!"

Finn jumped to his feet and sprinted across the camp and into the tent. A wail followed three seconds later.

Cato left the tent, zippering it up to let Finn grieve over his friend in private.

The others had woken up.

Marvel's face went blank. He didn't say anything, just stood there looking at the tent.

Clove tried to keep her blank face on, but it crumbled a little; she didn't cry, but you could see the grief on her face.

Glimmer was outright crying. She ducked into the tent, and we could hear her soothing Finn.

Rue had her face buried into Thresh's shoulder, crying. He was holding her, and his face could have been carved from stone.

I picked up Roan and held him close.

We stood like that as a group for a while; all mourning a friend we had made, when just a few days ago we had been ready to kill.

* * *

"We need to bury her."

I looked down at Finn, where he was curled up into a ball by my side, head pillowed on my shoulder.

"I know."

Coral was in the tent, eyes closed like she was sleeping. Glimmer had braided her hair intricately, and even painted her nails from some berries she had found in the woods.

"I wish we didn't have to bury her here. I wish we could have given her the rights of a District Four girl."

Finn had told me about it before. In District Four, they would wrap your body in a shroud and burn it, before scattering the ashes over the ocean.

The thought of burning her made me sick; maybe it was because I had come from District 12, where burns were so common that they didn't even go to my mother unless they were really bad.

"We need to get out of here."

Glimmer looked up, eyes red.

"How?"

I stood up and turned in a circle, staring at the force field with concentration.

I pulled out a small knife, thin, a little bit shorter than an arrow and strung it into my bow. If I had been trying to take down something it wouldn't have worked, but I needed something thick and I didn't want to waste my arrows.

I fired the knife at the top of the sky, and we all watched with some interest as it went right through the force field, opening up a small hole and showing the real sky behind it.

Cato furrowed his brow, before he got a cunning look on his face.

"I know how we're going to get out of here."

Clove raised her eyebrows at him.

"How?"

Cato ducked into the cornucopia, riffled around, and then came out with a small red box.

"The flare guns?"

"What the hell is a flare gun?"

Rue jumped down and looked at it, holding the large, gun shaped thing in her small hands.

"We use these. If during the night you get lost, you shoot up the flare and it bursts into flame, and shows the others where you are."

Thresh seemed to catch onto what Cato was thinking, because a rare grin broke out across his face.

Cato decided to explain it to us who didn't know what he was talking about.

"The flare gun is a low grade explosive. When it hits something other than oxygen, it burns it up really quickly. If what Katniss did to the shield is the same as what happens to this, then we can shoot the field, and it will open up a hole large enough for us to slip out. We might only have a window of a few seconds, but at least this isn't the electronic one that will electrocute you."

I took the small box from him and counted the flares.

"There are only a few in here. At most, six, if it works. We don't know how large this hole is going to be."

Cato met my eyes over the tops of the others.

"Younger kids will go first. Finn, Rue, you will go first if this works. Thresh and Clove, you go with them to make sure nothing happens to them if they get out."

I looked down at Roan's small face, still sleeping in his basket.

"And Roan. You will take Roan. Find help. Keep him safe."

It literally tore my heart apart to think of letting Roan go into the unknown without me, but I didn't want him in this abandoned arena, where anything could happen.

"This might not work, so don't get your hopes up. We should leave at dawn, hike through the day, sleep, and then try it. Take everything you can from the Cornucopia. Finn, Rue, don't pack too heavy."

Cato really did have the heart of a leader.

Finn stood up straight, and looked to the tent.

"We need to bury her first."

My head turned to the tent and then saw the river.

"I know what we have to do."

* * *

Three hours later, it was dawn. Finn had said this was the time they had gotten up back home to go out to see before the tide went out.

Glimmer and I had dressed Coral in the best clothes we could find in the cornucopia. For some reason, there was some kind of dress made out of some kind of silky material that Glimmer told me was satin.

"I used to have a dress made out of one back home."

There was more to the story, but I didn't press her for it.

We wrapped Coral in the tent, her whole entire body swaddled like a baby. The only part that showed was her hair and face, the only things that hadn't been affected by the blue.

Her eyes were shut peacefully, hair styled.

Finn sat by her head, staring into space. Rue was sitting next to him, his hand in both of hers.

Cato and Marvel, at our signal, lead the procession to the lake, Cato carrying Coral like she weight nothing.

When we got to the lake, Cato and I wadded out into the middle, holding her up.

Rue came out first, in the arms of Thresh. If she had been standing, the water would have been up to her neck, she was so small.

She placed a small flower on the shroud, small tears running down her face. Thresh's was unreadable, but he placed a small flower there too.

One by one, they place flowers on Coral's chest.

Finally, Finn came out.

His little face was heartbroken; tears filled his eyes that were already red and swollen, and his hands shook as he put the biggest flower on her chest.

Cato wadded out further, making sure to keep the flowers with her. Then, when he got closer to the middle, he placed her in the water, leaving her floating.

Finn turned and buried his face into my chest, sobs wracking his small form.

Cato came back, eyes hard and posture stiff.

I bit my lip hard, and then the three of us headed back to the shore, where the others were waiting with Roan.

We watched while the sky lightened, until the waterlogged tent finally pulled Coral under the water, the place where she had felt at home.

I felt my neck, where her small ring now was strung on. I had promised myself I would find her boyfriend and give him the ring; let him have closure.

"I wish we didn't have to leave her here," Clove whispered, almost to herself. "She deserved better than this. She was more than a piece in their games."

I agreed with Clove, but I was afraid that if I spoke, I would lose my composure and sob.

Finn was still crying.

I handed Roan to Rue and crouched down and looked Finn in the face.

"Finn, I want you to listen to me. OK?"

Tears were still running down his face, and his little chin was all crinkled up from trying hard not to cry, but he looked me in the face, his small shoulders shuddering.

My heart broke for him.

"It OK Finn. It's OK. Coral loved you like a little brother. She's safe now, she's happy. Her body is left behind, but her spirit is somewhere safe, where she doesn't have to work, where she can play all day in the ocean if she wants. And she's setting up a house for you to come and visit when you join her many years from now."

"She was supposed to marry Tai, and I was going to be in the wedding."

The small voice Finn talked in made me bit my lip hard.

"Sometimes things happen Finn. But she loved you so much, and she would want you to be happy too. She would want you to go back to your family."

Finn let out a sob.

"I don't have a family! Coral was my family! She has no siblings, and her mother died and her father is in prison! My mom and dad abandoned me and my brother! My brother drowned the same day I almost did, and Coral couldn't save him either! She's all I had!"

This time I did let the tears fall.

I cried for Coral, who didn't deserve her fate. I cried for Finn, who went though too much in his short life.

And I cried because I didn't know what else to do.

I wrapped my arms around Finn, picking him up like a toddler. He was so small and skinny I could do it easily. He wrapped himself around me, squeezing me hard and sobbing.

"You have me Finn. You have me and Glimmer and Clove and Rue and Cato, Marvel, Thresh and Roan. We're your family."

And it was true.

The games change you. Make you different.

The 74th hunger games were different; because this time, we don't come out monsters.

We come out a family.

These teenagers, who I had been ready to kill not a week before, were now my closet friends. They were the only ones who understood what really happens in the arena.

I stroked Finn's curly hair, and tried to let him know through touch alone we would always be there.

There was battle out there…there was death and loss and grief. I didn't want him to feel that; I wanted him to think that people didn't die, that who we loved would always be there, and that there were such things as happily ever afters. I wanted to promise him that.

But I didn't know if it was promise I could keep.

And that scared the hell out of me.

* * *

**Next chapter, getting out! Hopefully. **

**So many feels...**

**That's why I hate killing off characters. You become so close to them you don't know if you could do anything bad to them, but then, what is the whole point of the story?**

**Please review, tell me what you think! I skipped studying for this! LOL**


	10. Chapter 9

**OK...I forgot that I had this chapter completed on my computer, and I didn't post it...**

**PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! **

* * *

_"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's own courage."_

_-Anais Nin_

* * *

We headed for the edge of the force field.

It was about ten miles away, and with all of us weary from the day, it seemed ten million miles away.

Cato and Marvel were the ones ahead, pushing us like we had never been pushed before.

I had Roan tied to my chest, and a backpack on my back. Roan was asleep right now, but I was afraid he would wake up and cry when we didn't have time to deal with him.

Rue was holding my right hand, and Finn was holding my left.

About two miles in at a pretty fast clip, Rue asked in a small voice, "Can we take a break?"

Marvel turned and opened his mouth before Cato leaned down and threw her onto his back. Rue let out an adorable little giggle.

Marvel noticed that Finn was flagging too, and then he threw him up on his back too.

Throughout the hike, the bigger boys took turned carrying Rue and Finn, making sure to keep them laughing.

The absence of Coral weighted heavily on all of us.

It took all morning, afternoon, and part of the night to reach the edge. The only reason why we went at night was because the moon was shinning bright enough for us to be able to see where we were going.

By that time, Rue and Finn were asleep, and everyone else was dead on their feet.

Even Cato showed signs of lost energy.

"We'll camp here for the night."

We didn't bother to pitch tents, just all of us pulled out sleeping bags in a circle.

Cato took first watch, despite my protesting that I could take it.

"I'm fine Katniss."

It was weird hearing him say my name still; I was so used to him calling me Fire Girl.

I sighed, resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to win an argument with him right then,.

I settled Roan into my sleeping bag with me, holding him close to my side, bow and arrow drawn and ready in case something attacks.

I was almost asleep when I heard Cato say softly to himself, "I don't know how you could forgive us."

Too tired, and too far deep into my sleep, I couldn't ask him what he meant.

* * *

The next morning I was woken up by Glimmer.

She was freshly washed, her hair pulled back into a low ponytail.

"Come on. We're sending the little ones through."

My arm tightened automatically on Roan, the fear of being separated from him pulling heavily on my heart.

Rue was on Thresh's back, and Finn was waiting patiently.

I knelt down, Roan still cradled in one arm, and hugged him tight.

"You're going to get out of her, OK? Keep running and don't stop. Listen to Thresh, watch out for Rue and Roan, OK?"

Finn didn't say anything, just nodded, eyes solemn in his young face.

I handed over Roan to Finn, tying him to the little boy's chest just in case. I had kissed his head once, before feeling like I was going to break down.

"Stay back." Cato announced, stepping forward to aim the gun at the side.

I kept my arms around Finn and Roan, making sure to keep them behind me in case something happened.

The flare hit, but didn't come back or go out. It kept pulling at the side, making the illusion warp, tugging it like a fish would tug the line.

Finally, it broke through, leaving a hole large enough for Thresh to dive through with Rue. The hole closed up a split second after they got through.

There was silence in the group, before Glimmer let out a relieved breath.

"They're gonna get out."

Marvel and Cato exchanged relieved glances.

Then, it exploded.

The force field shook, expanding and warping, before popping like a soap bubble, sending all of us flying back.

I twisted just in time in mid-air so that I hit the trees, and not Finn or Roan. I could almost feel my rib crack, and the pain was instant, but I just sucked in a breath and tried to remain calm.

There was muffled cursing, and slowly, everyone stood up, looking in shock at the place where the force field used to be.

Standing on the other side, looking just as shocked as we were, was Rue and Thresh.

On the grass was a scorch mark, some parts of the grass still flaming a little; Clove beat them out before they could spread too quickly.

Marvel recovered the quickest, jumping up in the air, whooping.

"WE'RE OUTTA HERE!"

When we all got our wits together, we jumped and laughed, even me, with my felt-broken-rib.

Cato even cracked a smile, which was rare because of his current mood as of late.

"Come on, someone must have heard us. We need to keep moving."

The world outside the arena looked about the same, only now the trees looked more natural, more like how they would grow normally, instead of how the gamemakers wanted them to look.

Finn clung close to my hand, and I tucked Roan back into his sling, making sure he wasn't wounded from where we hit the tree.

He was perfectly fine, his knuckles in his hands, eyes alert. I kissed the top of his downy head.

Rue and Finn were still carried, and I even caught a break once in a while when Glimmer or Clove wanted a chance to carry him.

Roan had already fallen in love with his new 'aunts.'

We walked for about ten more miles before Cato had to admit we were all dragging, even Clove, who refused to say anything.

I took first watch, even though I had to threaten Cato with an arrow to the arm if he didn't rest. He had just glared at me and went to his sleeping bag, although I'm sure he didn't sleep.

For some reason, he had become more surly now. I didn't know if it was the stress of breaking out of the arena, or the fact that now he felt responsible for all of us, or even Coral's death, but I didn't feel like now as the time to talk to him about it.

The others had been asleep for about an hour when Finn started thrashing around, crying and screaming.

I hurried over to his side, gently shaking him awake. His skin was clammy, eyes wide and pupils dilated with fear. Tears streamed down his face, and he threw his skinny arms around me.

I ran my fingers through his curly hair, my heart breaking when I felt his small body shake with sobs.

"Sh, sh, you're OK, you're OK."

Finn didn't stop crying.

I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to calm him down. Eventually, I thought of the little lullaby I had composed for Roan when he was first born.

I opened my mouth and started to sing softly.

_I remember tears streaming down your face_

_When I said I'll never let you go_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light_

_I remember you said_

_Don't leave me here alone_

_But all that's dead and gone and past_

_Tonight_

I felt someone's eyes on me, and when I turned my eyes, I saw the hard eyes of Cato.

I refused to let the hurt that the look he gave me show. Finn needed me right now.

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be _

_Safe and sound_

Finn still cried, but he wasn't shaking with sobs anymore.

Progress.

_Don't you dare look out your window_

_Darling everything's on fire_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on_

_Hold on to this_

_Lullaby_

_You'll know when the music's gone_

_Gone  
_

I ran my hands through his hair, trying to infuse as much comfort as I could into my touch.

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be _

_Safe_

_And_

_Sound_

Finn had fallen asleep, his head pillowed on his fluffy hair and my shoulder.

Cato was already awake, so I decided to let him have his way and take the watch.

I didn't want to lay Finn back down, so I just leaned my head on top of his, the soft smell of clean water filling my nostrils, and tried to fall asleep too.

* * *

The first thing I noticed in the morning was the pain in my rib and the uncomfortable crick in my neck and lower back.

Urgh, this is what I got from sleeping in a weird position.

The sun had just come up, blinding me, who was unfortunate enough to be facing it.

Finn was still asleep against me, the weight of his head doing nothing to help the pain in my rib.

I slowly slipped away from him, laying him back down on his cool sleeping bag, hoping he could get a couple more hours of sleep before we had to hike out again.

Even though I was in pretty good shape from my hunting, I was a little sore from all the hiking.

Glimmer and Clove were up too, Clove pocking the fire awake and Glimmer sorting through food.

When she noticed I had walked over, she said, "We're going to run out of meat soon."

Clove groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Marvel and Cato are going to be hell to deal with when we do."

I smiled a little, still sore.

"I'll go hunting a little, see if I can find any kind of meat around here."

Thresh slowly treaded up behind us, despite his huge size, able to remain perfectly quiet.

"There are some berries here we can eat. Good wild plants."

Glimmer clapped her hands together, carefully, so not to wake Roan who was sleeping on her chest in his little sling.

"Perfect! A little feast."

Her ability to be this peppy in the morning, and after everything we went through, never ceased to amaze me.

"Can you watch Roan for me while I go hunting?"

"Of course!"

I cast a small smile at them before I grabbed my bow and arrows and headed out.

"I'll come with you."

I raised an eyebrow at Cato, but didn't say anything. He was still in his surly mood, so I didn't want to make it from surly into downright pissed.

Even though he must have weighed on the high end of 200 pounds, he moved like I did in the woods, silent and quickly, every move of his feet planned.

We walked about two miles away from camp, and I had already taken down three rabbits and five squirrels, leaving some snares from spare rope behind us.

Cato had found some berries, and after making sure they were fine, he proceeded to fill a huge bag with them.

No words were exchanged between us for a while. Actually, I don't think he or I talked since the day Coral died.

I quickly pushed the thought of Coral out of my head, not ready mentally to deal with her death right now.

I was so lost in my thoughts I almost didn't see the fawn in front of me until we were staring face to face.

For a long moment in time, we stood in the small meadow staring at each other.

_I'm sorry,_ I whispered in my head, before letting an arrow fly.

When the fawn dropped to the ground, a look of shock in it's eyes, I turned and yelled for Cato.

He didn't talk, just walked to me, his bag slung over his back and sword in one hand. He reached down and plucked the fawn up like it weighed no more than Rue and then turned and walked away again.

The sulkiness was getting really annoying.

The _entire_ walk back to camp was so quiet, I could hear the wind moving through the leaves.

When we were only a quarter of a mile away from camp, I finally had it.

"What is going on with you!?"

Cato didn't turn around to look at me, but he did stop.

When he didn't answer I let out a curse and then stomped in front of him.

"For the love of all that is holy, please stop acting like a caveman and respond in something other than silence."

Cato glared at me through his eyelashes, and for the first time in a long while, I felt fear.

I felt fear because this was the first time in a long while that Cato looked like the Career that he was.

He hissed at me, "Don't. Don't look at me like you're afraid of me."

I shook my head, eyes never leaving his face. For some reason, tears, unbidden, came to my eyes.

"Don't give me a reason to. Don't shut me out right when we're friends. Don't make me afraid when you glare at me."

His face became sardonic.

"Do you really think we're friends? Do you think I could care about anyone else, even you or your bastard of a son?"

SMACK!

I had hit him so hard across the face my hand was imprinted in a bright red.

His head rocked back, and his eyes looked so surprised, like he never once, in a million years, expected me to hit him.

I was shaking with fury and confusion…and _hurt_. I didn't know what had happened to Cato to make him turn back into this monster…

"You can do whatever you want to me. But you say anything against my son, and _I will end you._"

I grabbed the fawn from him, throwing it over my shoulder and stomped away.

* * *

**Oh Cato, why did you have to open up your big fat mouth? **

**OK, song used in this chapter: Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift feat. the Civil Wars or vice versa, I'm too lazy to check. **

**Drama rama, I'm sorry, but I just feel like Cato wouldn't be the one to just lay down and take the new emotions without a fight. **

**Also, please go check out the links on my profile to all my cool stuff! **

**Thank you all so much for the kind reviews, they make me feel sooooo good and help speed up the updates!**


	11. RIP Newtown

Hey Guys.

I don't know if most of you have heard, but there was a shooting in Newtown, CT, in an Elementary school.

27 people were killed, 20 of them being young children no older than eight. This hit close to home for me because of some cousins I'm close to being that age.

Also, I am near that school...and we were put on lockdown. Some of my friend's siblings were in that school during the shooting and they didn't know if they were OK or not (they are not, but at the time it was scary).

Right now, I'm going to be retreating a little from FanFiction, as it is hard to write through grief. Usually this is what I turn to, but every time I open up a draft to write I think about those innocent lives that were lost.

I wanted to write something poignant and moving, a oneshot or something, to show respect to those who were killed...but how can you when you feel shattered inside?

There are no words for it.

I am not writing this to make a statement on guns, or on school security, so please don't review saying it. This is a time to come together, not to debate. There will be time for that later, just grieve now.

No matter what your religion is, please keep the family and friends of these people in your thoughts and prayers.

Remember the kids who were too young to die, the teachers, especially Victoria Soto, who hid their kids and lied to protect them.

Heaven gained 27 beautiful, perfect angels who will be missed dearly.

Rest In Peace:

Charlotte Bacon (6)

Daniel Barden (7)

Rachel Davino (29)

Olivia Engel (6)

Josephine Gay (7)

Ana M. Marquez-Greene (6)

Dylan Hockley (6)

Dawn Hocksprung (47)

Madeleine F. Hsu (6)

Catherine V. Hubbard (6)

Chase Kowalski (7)

Jesse Lewis (6)

James Mattioli (6)

Grace McDonnell (7)

Anne Marie Murphy (52)

Emilie Parker (6)

Jack Pinto (6)

Noah Pozner (6)

Caroline Previdi (6)

Jessica Rekos (6)

Avielle Richman (6)

Lauren Russeau (30)

Mary Sherlach (56)

Victoria Soto (27)

Benjamin Wheeler (6)

Allison N. Wyatt (6)


	12. Chapter Ten

**Hey Guys. **

**Sorry I've been so out of it, but you know everything that has been going on with me for the past couple of weeks. With the holidays and everything, it was just that much harder to go on. **

**Anyway, I wanted to get this chapter up, so please review!**

* * *

_Welcome death, quoth the rat, when the trap fell. -Thomas Fuller._

* * *

The others thought it was a little weird that I had left with Cato and came back without him, but when I jokingly reassured them I didn't kill him and hide his body in the forest, they calmed down with laughter.

Glimmer fussed a little about me carrying so much, because she had picked up on my broken rib. I was able to calm her down, but only because she made me sit while they skinned the animals.

Roan was curled up in the corner of my arm, and I buried my nose into his hair, soft and smelling faintly of pine needles.

Cato or anyone could say anything they wanted about Roan; I didn't care if he came from a rape, or even if he dropped from the sky into my arms. He was my son, and nothing anyone said would change that.

Least of all Cato.

Speaking of whom, the jackass in question arrived when the food was halfway done cooking, my palm and fingers still a red outline on his face.

Marvel opened his mouth to say something, but Glimmer hit him hard in the chest with her elbow and he shut his jaw with a snap.

I still had to resist the urge to plunge an arrow into Cato's shoulder.

I should have known better than to start to trust him…to even begin, for a moment, to even like him…

Shaking my head, I threw a blanket over my shoulder, hiding my chest from view as I fed Roan.

I took the food that was offered to me, but when he wasn't looking, I sneaked some onto Finn's plate. He must have noticed, but he didn't say anything, for which I was grateful.

For a long time, we all just sat around, eating and trying not to think of the empty place in our midst where Coral should have been.

* * *

Glimmer and I were taking first watch, Roan sleeping in my backpack (I had turned it into a sleeping bag of some sort for him).

"Will you be willing to tell me who was the father of Roan? Was it really your District partner?"

I jolted, realizing that Cato (and the rest of Panem) were really the only ones who knew about Roan's dad. The others didn't.

I fixed my eyes on a point in the horizon, not wanting to see her face when I told her this.

The whole story came out, this time a little easier; maybe the fact that Rye hadn't just died in my arms had something to do with it.

When I was finished telling her, she reached out and took my hand, making me look at her.

Her eyes were shimmering with tears, and her bottom lip was red, like she had bit it several times throughout the course of my story.

"The same thing happened to me."

I must have been staring at her in shock, because she smiled a little, sad smile.

"I never told anyone this. When I was training for the Games, I was so focused I really didn't have time for dating. I mean, I went out on dates with boys and gossiped about them, but I wasn't the kind to sleep with them."

Glimmer shifted a little, running her hand up and down the side of Roan's cheek, his small breaths making little _puff puff_ sounds.

"One of the head trainers seemed to…_favor _me. Always offering me other lessons, trying to get me alone with him. Being the stupid little girl I was, I didn't catch on."

My horror was slowly mounting.

"One day, when I was about 13, maybe 14, I had stayed at training late. He asked me to come to his office because he had some books he wanted to lend me, and some tapes, on the past games. He touched me then, and I ran. I didn't say anything, because I was too scared. Me, a Career, scared."

I still held one of her hands, and I squeezed it reassuringly.

"Then, New Year's party. I was wearing a dress, made of satin."

Now the look on her face when she saw the shirt we put on Coral made sense.

"I felt so beautiful and pretty and powerful. Then, he brought me back to his office to give me some more books and he…he raped me. I was a virgin."

Glimmer looked up at me one more time, and this time, I saw the depth of the devastation and fear a young girl had to face.

"I was pregnant after that…but I miscarried because I didn't know. I had been training even harder, putting my body through too much…when I passed out while climbing a wall, I found out only to be told I lost my baby. I never told anyone."

Now, the way she took to Roan and the protectiveness she had over small children made sense.

"I must have changed, because I was pushed to volunteer more and more. They must have thought they were going to lose a potential victor, and they didn't want that. But those things were a wake up call. I guess you can say I found my humanity again."

I hugged Glimmer tight, ignoring the hot tears that soaked my shirt.

There was a stronger friendship between us now. We shared something, something that most other girls didn't. They didn't know the feeling of degradation, of being forced to be so close to someone who wants nothing more than to hurt you. They didn't know those feelings that came with rape.

And her baby…how could she have stood to carry on after losing her baby? I would never have been able to live if I had lost Roan…even more if I hadn't known I was pregnant and it was inadvertently my fault he had died.

For the rest of the night, Glimmer and I talked, sharing horror stories of what happened to us, what we felt, how we moved on. I think it was the first time she, and I for that matter, ever really talked about it.

When the sun rose in the morning, I felt fifty pounds lighter.

* * *

Well, the peace was too much to ask for.

We had decided to stay for another day, just to catch up on rest. My rib was feeling better, so I was finally able to sleep on my side.

Then, all the birds went quiet.

My eyes shot up to meet Marvel's. We knew what this meant.

"EVERYBODY TO THE WOODS!"

Cato threw Finn over his shoulders so he could clutch his back, and Thresh grabbed Rue. I had Roan, and we all sprinted.

Not even three seconds after we had hastily abandoned our campsite, the hovercrafts appeared.

Peacekeepers descended from ropes, searching our campsite with guns drawn.

One shouted, having spotted us running away, and then suddenly, we were engaged in battle.

One Peacekeeper grabbed my arm, jerking me to a halt, but I used the momentum and round-house kicked him, all the while keeping Roan clasped to my chest.

All the air rushed out of the man in a _woosh _but then he jerked, red blossoming from the wound in his chest and trickling from his mouth.

A sword was stabbed straight through his white uniform.

Behind him was Cato, hands and face spattered with red, eyes wild and feral.

For one long moment I just stared at him, at the boy who I thought I could trust.

His eyes looked sad, and when they saw me, I saw fear.

Fear?

What did Cato have to fear?

And then we were in a whirlwind of battle again before I could think more into it.

Roan was crying, and I had no choice but to climb a tree. I couldn't put him down, he would get taken or crushed. I used my bow and arrows to pick off Peacekeepers, but most of them were too close to my friends for me to be comfortable risking it.

Thresh hauled Rue and Finn over to me, and when they climbed, I protected the three of them, shooting before we could be shot.

Clove was spinning, throwing her knives with deadly accuracy. She once threw one so hard it tore right through the man and imbedded itself in the skull of another.

Glimmer was twisting around in ways I had never seen, hand to hand combat, even with guns on the other side, a cinch for her.

Rue had her hands over her ears and her eyes closed tight, lips moving like she was praying. Finn had his arms wrapped around her, probably to comfort her, or to keep from falling off the branch.

Cato and Marvel were back to back, wielding swords and spears respectively.

Strange how they didn't trust each other much before, and now they trusted the other to keep them alive.

It could have been an hour or it could have been a minute, but the battle slowly died down, and there was nothing left but bloody bodies, panting teens, and smoking bullet holes in the bark of trees.

Slowly, the birds started singing again.

Marvel came over and reached his hands up, shouting, "Rue, drop down!"

Apparently trusting him with her life, Rue uncovered her ears and dropped down, Marvel catching her and swinging her to the ground.

"Keep your eyes close for a while, OK?"

Rue nodded, shutting her eyes and leaning against the tree.

Marvel shouted out, "Finn, your turn!"

Obviously a little more apprehensive than Rue, he hesitated before jumping, but Marvel caught him and whispered something in his ear. Finn blushed a little but nodded.

I was very confused until I saw him gently take Rue's hand and lead her a little ways away from the carnage.

"I know you would never throw Roan out of a tree, but you can drop and I'll catch you."

Although Marvel didn't have the bulk to him that Cato did, he was tall and muscular. He could easily catch me.

Putting my trust in him, I wrapped myself around Roan and fell out of the tree, avoiding branches and enjoying the rush before I was caught in Marvel's arms.

"Thanks."

I was set back on my feet, and I saw Glimmer and Clove make their way over to me.

"We need to get away from here. They are going to be found soon, and I don't want to know what's going to happen after that."

Clove looked a little worried, eyebrows pulled down to meet in a deep 'V' between her eyes.

"Why do they want us so badly?"

Thresh was the one who answered, surprisingly.

"We're dangerous. We're killers. Well, most of us. We're too dangerous for them to let run around, especially when they've given us every reason to fight against them."

At once, Glimmer, Marvel, Clove and Cato clenched their jaws, like they were remembering something particularly painful.

Making a mental note to ask them about it, I surveyed the woods, trying to figure out what was going on around us.

Suddenly, I saw a tree that was all too familiar.

Carved on the bark was a small arrow, initials KE, DE, PE, SE and RE above and below it.

About three feet to the right was another tall tree, this one with another arrow carved and more initials. GH, PH, RH, VH, RH and BH.

"Oh my god…"

Glimmer followed my point of view and noticed the carving.

"What is that?"

I handed her Roan and ran my fingers over it, remembering the day so many years ago when I had been in the woods with Gale, about a week after Roan had been born.

I explained for the rest of them, who all looked so confused.

"About a week after Roan had been born, I had come out hunting…and I had been feeling sentimental, so I carved, with my cousin, the initials of all of my family and his family…"

Walking over, I pointed at all the initials.

"Katniss Everdeen, Dahlia Everdeen, that's my mother, Primrose Everdeen, Sage Everdeen, my father, and Roan Everdeen."

Pointing at the other initials, I ranted off quickly, "Gale, Posy, Rory, Vick, Rose and Bolton."

Cato caught on the quickest.

"This is the woods around District Twelve…"

I nodded, and everyone had different reactions.

Some of them were jumping up and down with excitement, and some of them just deflated, like all the weight they had been carrying around for the past couple of days vanished.

The Career's of our group tensed even more.

While the others debated about whether we should go closer to District Twelve ("We can get help!" "Yeah, but what about the peacekeepers?") or just stay put ("We don't know if the Capitol is looking for us! We don't want to endanger any other people!"), I walked over to the tree.

Reaching back to my quiver, I pulled out another arrow and carved quickly a few more lines, ignoring the pain it brought in my knuckles.

When I was done, I walked back to the others and joined the debate, not noticing the eyes that were on me.

_Saviors of the best kind, Peeta and Rye Mellark. _

_You will be missed. _

_74th Hunger Game Victims, Rest In Peace._

* * *

__**Kind of a cheesy, sappy ending, but I couldn't help myself. **

**Who wants more Cato and Katniss in the next chapter!?**

**Please review, and thank you so much for all the other reviews you guys have left! You are the best!**


	13. Chapter 11

***Note: The name of Gale's mom is supposed to be Hazelle, but I made is Rose…my bad!**

**Sorry for not updating in a while! Here is a short (for this story) chapter before the next one!**

**Also, Happy MLK day! I'll still be in school :(**

* * *

_"I have a dream..."_

_-MLK Jr._

* * *

I finally solved the problems of what to do.

"I'm going in."

Cato and Glimmer both protested, listing all the reasons why I shouldn't. The peacekeepers would find me, I would be arrested, there might not even be a way into the District anymore…

They could have talked until they were blue in the face, I was still going in.

"I'm the only one who knows District Twelve well enough to sneak in and out without being noticed. I can slip in, do recon, and come back. I won't contact my family, not yet…I don't want to bring trouble on their head."

Glimmer sighed.

"You need to bring someone in with you."

"Cato and Marvel are too recognizable, and Thresh will stick out because no one in my district had darker skin because we spend most of our time in the mines."

Rue opened her mouth and I pointed a finger at her and said, "No way."

"I'll go in alone, and if I'm not out by sundown, get out of here as quickly as you can."

Roan was curled up against my shoulder, his small nose against my neck, tickling me with every exhale and inhale.

A couple of moments of mental math reminded me that Roan was almost three months old.

Now he was able to hold his head up when he was sitting up between my legs, but he would pitch forward. He could locate sounds and turn his head, and even smile a little when he saw someone who he knew; the only person who got a smile besides me was Glimmer and Rue.

I pressed a kiss to his forehead, breathing in a deep breath of his baby smell, and handed him off as I threw my bow and quiver over my arm.

I waved goodbye to the others, who just looked at me solemnly.

Stopping one quick moment to get my extra hunting knives I leave in the woods, I stopped for one moment to make sure the electricity wasn't on.

It was only then that I realized that someone was walking behind me.

I sighed, half expecting to see Rue trying to sneak in with me, so imagine my surprise when I saw _Cato _of all people sneaking behind me.

He looked sheepish for one moment before his face hardened and his eyes closed off.

"What are you doing?"

"You're not going in alone."

"Because you're worried about me or because you don't trust me?"

He didn't answer, but the words were clear in his eyes and body language.

Hurt, but not willing to show it, I turned and walked to the fence, trying to keep the feeling of betrayal from showing.

His heavy hand was on my shoulder before I could take two steps.

"It's not that I don't trust you personally…I just-"

I jerked my shoulder out from underneath his hand and kept on walking, even though every nerve ending in my body was yelling at me to stay right there with him.

"Stay here. _Do not_ follow me in."

Pausing for only the barest second to make sure that the electricity wasn't on, I dove underneath the wiring and hurried to my old home.

* * *

There was no one on the street. There was an eire silence that had fallen on the entire Seam that just screamed SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE.

My house stood silent, every door shut and window curtained.

Slowly, I slipped in the back door, my hand wrapped around my knife.

When I opened the door, an arrow was being aimed at my face.

Gale's face broke into a relieved look, and the bow and arrow clattered to the ground.

"Catnip!"

"Gale!"

I threw my arms around him in a hug, so relieved to see a familiar face.

"Katniss!"

A small voice echoed Gale's, and next I felt Prim's small, skinny arms being thrown around my waist.

I was welcomed back by everyone; Mom gave me a tearful hug, holding my head to her shoulder like she thought she would never see me again, Gale's mother kissing me on the cheek with tears in her eyes, Rory and Vick tag teaming me in a tackle hug, and Posy wrapping her arms around my neck and refusing to let go until Gale bodily peeled her off.

"How the hell did you get back?"

I slowly told them all about how the surviving tributes and I managed to escape from the Arena, with Roan. I showed him the note that Haymitch had sent me.

I told them about how we managed to escape, until I found the tree where we had carved our initials, and then knew where we were.

"What's going on? What happened to the town?"

I could tell by the look on Gale's face that it wasn't pretty.

"After they found out about what happened to you, the entire District was in revolt. I hear tell that there were other Districts who revolted too. You went off air, and the Peacekeepers came flooding in."

He went on to tell me about the executions of some random people around the Seam who had revolted in my name, how there were new rules and a curfew.

I had to sit down in shock.

_I _had caused all of this?

Gale broke into my thoughts.

"Katniss, we love having you here, but you need to get out of here. If they find you here, if they find any of the other tributes, there is going to be hell to pay. The rebels, Katniss, they're from District 13."

I wouldn't have been more surprised than if he had told me that he had found his father alive, walking around in the woods.

_"WHAT?" _

The other's winced, and I remembered to keep my voice down.

"The rebels are District Thirteen. Apparently, they hadn't been leveled out. The Capitol didn't know that they were still alive until they attacked the arena, trying to get you out. There is now a war."

They were throwing too much information at me right now.

"I would have gone, but they would have known and gone after the family. You need to get the other there. The rebels will protect you. Go!"

I had been home for all of maybe ten minutes, and I already had to leave.

Mom threw me a jacket, and my heart tugged a little when I realized it was Dad's old hunting jacket.

Prim hustled over with my game back, stuffed to the brim with stuff I didn't have time to look through.

I threw it over my shoulder and picked up my weapons.

"Make sure you have things ready to move at a moment's notice. I have a bad feeling about what the Capital might do to you guys."

Mom nodded, pointing to a small pile of things by the front door. I assumed it held all of the prized possessions we owned.

I hugged everyone else goodbye, tears pricking my eyes. Was this the last time I was going to see any of them?

I tried not to dwell on it too much as I slipped out of the door and hurried back to the gate.

Pausing only the barest moment to make sure the electricity wasn't on, I slipped through the gaps and then sprinted for the forrest, only relaxing when I was in the small meadow I had left Cato in.

Speaking of which, the moron in question was pacing up and down, around and back again the length of the meadow, sword gripped so tightly in his hands I thought his knuckles were going to break.

When I tumbled in, my hair a mess from the wind and out of breath, he spun, sword at the ready. When he saw it was just me, he calmed down.

"Well?"

I ran past him, not even bothering to see if he was following. The sound of his footsteps told me that yes, he was following.

It didn't take long to get back to the others, who were all in various states of tense relaxation.

When the two of us came barreling in, they all jumped up.

"What's going on? What's happening?"

Still out of breath, I took the canteen offered to me and drank long hand hard.

"Sit down. It's going to take a while to explain all of this."

So I related everything Gale had told me, told them everything about District Thirteen and how we needed to head there.

Clove spoke up.

"What makes you think they're not going to kill us on sight?"

I looked at her like she hadn't heard a word I had been saying.

"We're their symbol of the revolution, they _want_ us alive."

Clove sighed, rolling her eyes.

"They want _you_. We're Careers, symbols of everything they hate. Symbols of the Capital. They want us dead."

I picked up Roan from where he was laying on Rue's lap and turned to Clove.

"They won't get my help if they try to harm you guys. What's in the past is in the past, and mulling over it now isn't going to help."

In other words, I trust Clove, Glimmer, Marvel, and Cato, even if they (cough, Cato, cough) didn't trust me.

Rue shook her head affirmatively as well, skipping over to take Clove's hand.

"I won't go anywhere without you Clove. You protect me."

I smiled at little at her innocent words, and Clove smiled as well, her eyes filing up a little with tears. If was clear she had been speaking what she had been fearful of.

Motioning to the others to pack up, I dumped water on the fire and kicked the ashes around, mixing it with dirt.

Glimmer paused to take a look at me.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Believing that we are more than just vicious killing machines."

* * *

**I love that ending :) **

**OK, the next chapter is halfway done, and then needs to be reread, edited, and then will be posted! Thank you so much for all of your sweet reviews, they really make my day! Please keep reviewing!**


	14. Chapter 12

_You don't actually love someone without having moments of wanting to kill them._

_-My Mother :)_

* * *

The thing with traveling with two kids and one baby was that we had to take _a lot_ of breaks.

Well, not a lot. A lot more than I would have liked.

None of us knew exactly where District Thirteen was; we were going from the vague notion of them being close enough to District Twelve that they were connected by railroad before the dark ages.

Rue was dragging. Because the bigger boys were carrying packs, she walked more on her feet, not wanting to cause them extra weight. Finn was trying to motivate her along, but she could only muster a smile for so long.

Now I changed my mind; we needed to stop for the night.

"Let's rest for the night."

"Let's speed it up a little."

Cato and I spoke at the same time.

We looked at each other for a couple of seconds, and then I remembered I was angry at him. It was hard to remember that when he was looking at me with those ice-blue eyes that seemed to pin me right where I stood.

Finn sagged against me, only hardening my resolve to let us all rest for the night.

Marvel, Cato, Glimmer, and Clove all looked like they could run three more miles without break. I refused to call them Career's in my mind, because they weren't anymore.

Thresh looked like I did, able to make it some more, but wishing to stop.

Roan was curled up on my chest, but he was whimpering the whimper of wanting to stretch out. My arms were sore from holding him, but I didn't want to dump him on someone else.

"We should keep moving."

I rolled my eyes.

"Cato, we've been walking, running in some places, all day with only short breaks. We all can't do what you can do. We're going to camp for the night."

Cato's eyes narrowed.

"No, we're going to keep moving."

I felt my anger rising, but I turned to Glimmer and asked her, "Can you start finding some wood?"

Glimmer looked like she was trying hard not to laugh.

"Yeah."

Cato looked like he was ready to kill me.

"We need to move!"

Finally, I lost it.

"For crying out loud, _you_ are probably the only one who could continue for as long as you would like, but there are three here that are very young, one of them my own son, and we are going to camp for the night, and you are going to chill."

His lip curled, and I knew he was going to deliver a bitting blow.

Not entirely sure if my fragile trust in him could handle it, I said, "And I'll take full night watch."

Clove's head whipped around to look at me.

I obviously would be exhausted tomorrow, but I would make it. Anything to make Cato shut the hell up.

Cato sighed, finally throwing down his sword about an inch away from my foot. I delicately decided not to comment.

* * *

About three hours into night watch with Roan stretched out to my side and I was regretting everything I said.

My head was swimming, and my leg muscles were aching. My eyes burned like someone had poured sand into them.

To keep myself awake, I went through the game bag that Prim had given me.

In it was some dried rabbit meat, and some clothes for both me and Roan.

Also at the very bottom was a mini-book of all the medical herbs that Mom knew about. Some medical things, a blanket, and a photo.

It was one of Dad.

I sighed, tucking it between the pages of the book and settling it back down in the bag.

Roan fussed a little, pushing out with his arms without opening his eyes. I rubbed the back of his head, trying to lull him back to sleep.

"Can't you shut him up?"

Patience already wearing thin with him, and at myself, I snapped at Cato, "What crawled up your ass and died?"

The look on his face was so stunned it was almost comical.

A second past and then he was back to his insufferable self.

"Chill."

For some reason, maybe exhaustion, maybe hormones or the stress I had been under these past couple of days, but that one word rubbed me the wrong way.

"Go to hell."

It was like poking an angry lion in the eye with a sharp stick.

The glare burned a hole in my cheek before I had enough.

Standing up, I stalked over, grabbed his arm, and hauled him away from the others. I had a feeling that our conversation was going to turn into a screaming match.

I didn't look at him when I pulled him about ten yards away from camp, and then I whirled around and gave him the fiercest glare I could muster.

"_WHY _have you been an ass lately? I don't understand!"

Cato growled, turning away like he was going to walk away.

"I don't need this from you."

I grabbed the closet thing to me, which was a pinecone, I launched it at the back of his head. It bounced off, disappearing into the forest.

My chest was laboring with my breathing, and every muscle of mine was tensed, ready to fight or run away.

Cato turned, slowly, but his eyes were molten, spinning with fury and other emotions I couldn't make out.

"Tell me why goddamnit! Tell me why you're a first rate jackass now, when days ago you were smiling and being nice!"

Cato stalked quickly over to me, pinning me to the tree that was closest to me.

It happened so fast I didn't have time to react.

"I am not _good. _I am not like Clove, or Glimmer, or even Marvel, who retained some of their humanity. I am a _killer, _and it's useless to pretend that I'm not."

Suddenly, everything clicked in my head.

He was closed off, because he didn't know what to do. It must have been so long since he let down his shell, liked people without thinking about having to kill them in the long run.

I realized I had been going about everything wrong. I had been angry at him, antagonizing him, pushing him away when I should have been soothing him the same way I soothed Roan.

Clearly thinking that I had given up, Cato released my arms from his iron grip, turning and stalking back to camp.

I sunk down to the cradle of the roots, and just stared blankly.

For the first time in my life I felt a little flare of _something_ in the pit of my stomach.

And that little flare scared me.

* * *

**Yeah...sorry for the long wait in-between the updates. :( I'm horrible.**

**This is a small filler chapter, with some important information! The next chapter is coming out soon, but let's all take a moment and appreciate how thick headed Cato is! **

**I know Katniss is a little OOC, but she's meant to be that way. She is still the badass character we know and love, but she has more layers now...albeit some more soft layers. **

**Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! Please keep them coming!**


	15. Chapter 13

**I have been seriously neglecting this story, and for that I am so sorry, but please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

_I raise my flags, don my clothes  
It's a revolution, I suppose  
We're painted red to fit right in  
Whoa_

_-Radioactive, Imagine Dragons_

* * *

Of course, the next morning, we hit a snag.

But, thankfully, it was a fight between Clove and Cato.

Rue hadn't told anyone, but she had twisted her ankle when she was walking. Nevertheless, the little girl kept walking, not even murmuring a whimper of pain.

Clove only found out when she went to wake up Rue and saw the swelling.

I handed Roan off to Glimmer, who held him tightly and played with his little fingers. After sending Marvel to find a branch to use as a brace, I knelt down next to Rue's ankle.

It was purplish-blue, swollen to twice the size of her other ankle.

"How did you keep walking?" I asked in genuine curiosity.

Rue blushed and looked down.

"I didn't want to slow you guys down, and I knew you and Clove would fuss if you knew I was hurt."

Hidden behind her bird-like exterior was a little girl with a spine of steel.

Clove appeared then from wherever she had been, and hissed, "Damn right I would have fussed."

I watched on in amusement. Clove was really only fourteen, a small girl compared to my height, but she had more muscle mass than I did.

But she still scared me a little, in her stoic way of staring or the way she looked like she was peering into your soul; Rue was the only one who wasn't the least bit scared of her, and Clove had taken to Rue like she was her biological sister. Happy to be the one being looked after for a change, Rue let her mother-hen.

Marvel appeared then, handing me a thick piece of wood. With some of the herbs I had found and the kind Mom had given me in the pack, I made a slave that should keep the swelling down, and I bound her ankle tightly.

Thresh, an ever silent and steady presence, helped Rue get to her feet, even giving her a small smile. Thresh had too much in his pack to carry her, but I knew that if he could, he would have.

Cato materialized then, and he refused to look at any of us in the eye.

"Come on, time to move out."

Clove glared at him and said, "We should rest for a day."

Cato glared at her, and hissed, "No, be thankful we got a stop last night. Time to move out."

Rue struggled to her make a couple of steps forward, but I noticed the wince she gave when she put weight on her ankle.

Clove rolled her eyes and hauled Cato by his arm through the forrest. Judging by the curses rolling from his mouth, I knew that Clove wasn't being too gentle.

Marvel laughed and picked up Rue, balancing her on his hip as easily as I would balance Roan.

"Well, little bird, I think that it's safe to say that you gained us all an extra day of rest, and for that, I am eternally grateful."

Glimmer handed Roan back to me, a soft smile on her lips. I took him and rubbed my nose against his, smiling when he gurgled and waved his hands around in delight.

"Well, I need to give this little guy a bath."

Finn, who had been so quiet lately, came over from where he had been knotting some rope.

I ran my hand through his unruly curls, letting him lean his head on my side.

"You should take advantage of the little spring and freshen up," I said in general to those who were still around.

Marvel looked at me in mock horror.

"Are you trying to tell me that I smell?!"

Rue's little bell laugh rang out, and even Finn cracked a smile.

I rolled my eyes and went to give Roan a bath.

* * *

When I came back, Cato was sulking underneath a tree, polishing his sword and glaring at anyone who walked near him.

Clove rolled her eyes when I came up to her, and said, "He's being an asshole, ignore him."

I sighed, handing Roan over to her waiting hands.

"Tell me something I don't know."

His growl ripped through the air, but I just gave him a one finger salute over my shoulder, and then pointed to Rue and Finn, saying, "You didn't see that."

Finn raised his hands in mock surrender, but the little twitch of his lips made me feel better for making him laugh; maybe he was slowly healing from the wound Coral's death left.

Glimmer pulled Roan out from my arms and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I would think that there is a conspiracy to kidnap my child away from me."

Glimmer stuck her tongue out at me, but then stopped when Roan tried to grab it with his fingers.

"How old is he now?"

I mentally calculated everything, trying to wrap my mind around the short amount of time when so much had happened.

"He is about three months, I think. I won't know for certain until I see a calendar-"

Glimmer cut me off with a coo to Roan, who made one of those adorable baby gurgles.

"You're going to be such a handsome boy!"

I rolled my eyes; she had such a one track mind.

The rest of the day was a shockingly relaxing one. Roan was passed around from person to person, Finn cracked a smile a little, and Rue had everyone waiting on her hand and foot, even carrying her so she wouldn't have to put weight on her injured ankle. It was so funny to see her blush; as the oldest to all her siblings, I knew she had never gotten that kind of attention before.

Cato sat in the shade of that tree all day, only moving to polish his sword. Every once in a while I would feel his stare on my shoulders, and it took every ounce of me self control to not turn around and look at him.

Glimmer finally had enough and dragged me off into the woods to "hunt."

Well, more like I hunted from a tree while she whispered.

"Seriously, just kiss him and move on, this tension is making me feel wired, and I don't want to do anything I'll regret when Marvel and Thresh are the only ones here for me to satisfy my lust wi-"

I threw up a hand, giving her a look. We were entering the realm of too much information.

Glimmer gave me a look back, and I accepted the fact that I was going to get no hunting done until she had her way.

"OK, stop with the look, what do you want to know?"

The smug smile the only evidence she was happy, she leapt right into the questioning.

She wanted to know what happened when Cato and I fought, what I planned to do, what I thought _Cato_ was going to do, how should we (apparently this has become a love triangle...) would go about this, if she could be a bridesmaid at our wedding, and on and on like that for so long I contemplated throwing myself out of the tree.

The sun got low in the sky, so eventually I convinced Glimmer that we needed to get back to camp…and somehow explain to the others why we didn't get a single thing.

"Come on."

Glimmer and I slowly descended the trees, but then something struck me as wrong.

Glimmer paused at the same time I did, sensing the same thing.

The entire forest had gone quiet. Absolutely, dead-as-the-grave quiet.

Somewhere, a Mockingjay gave a warning call.

I drew an arrow and got into a shooting position, my eyes and ears straining in the half-light to see what was happening. Glimmer pulled out three knives, one balanced in her right hand, and other two grasped in her left.

There was a flash of light, and then I saw the hovercraft.

We both tensed, ready to run or fight, when a small window opened and a very familiar face popped out.

"Hey Catnip! Do you have any idea how hard you are to track?"

* * *

**We're getting into the Rebellion now! We're going to meet a whole plethora of people next, some my own creation and some very familiar faces (Finnick anyone?), so please drop me a line and tell me how you like this chapter! It was mainly a way for me to show the bonding between all the characters so that they can be tested later, because you know I love hurting my readers cause I'm an author. **

**I'm just kidding, but you know what I mean. **

**Anyway, some of my other stories are drawing to a close, so I posted a poll on my profile on which ones you might like next, so please go vote for that! **

**I love you all, thank you for all the reviews, and please keep it up!**


	16. Chapter 14

_"They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them."_

_-Mahatma Gandhi_

* * *

First words out of Glimmer's mouth were, "Goddamn, he's hot."

From the smirk on Gale's face, he heard her.

"Gale, you scared the ever loving _crap_ out of me!"

Glimmer and I slid down the tree branch and headed over to the hovercraft, which landed in the small clearing.

Gale laughed and slid out of the hovercraft, walking over and throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"I love you too. And this is Glimmer, I suppose?"

Glimmer nodded, her eyes still sparkling with mirth.

Rolling my eyes, I shoved his arm off of me and said, "Let me guess. District Thirteen?"

Gale's smile widened; I could tell he was more than happy about the turn of events that was sure going to come with all the allies of Thirteen.

"Yup. We managed to get your trackers offline for the Capitol, but we've been trying to track you with the signals. But you have been too far into the forest for us to really find you unless we got within a mile. Come on, we need to pick up the rest of them. Where's Roan?"

"Roan is with the others, Glimmer and I were _supposed_ to be hunting. I'll go get the others, you two behave."

Gale raised a hand in mock salute, and Glimmer gave me a little wave.

Rolling my eyes, I headed back to camp.

Rue was sitting on the floor, her ankle elevated a little on a backpack. Roan was on his back next to her, a jacket cushioning him from the hard ground.

Cato was sulking again, Marvel was absentmindedly carving a piece of wood, Clove was poking at the fire, and Thresh and Finn were cutting apples into thirds. When I walked in, their eyes snapped behind me looking for Glimmer.

"Pack up guys. I have a surprise for you."

"Where's Glimmer?"

"Waiting with the surprise."

I bent down and picked up Roan, cradling him in one arm as I hooked by bag with the other.

In less than three minutes we had broken camp. Marvel and Thresh took up the rear to make sure we wouldn't be attacked and Clove carried Rue on her back. Finn held my hand all the way back to the clearing, where Glimmer was flirting with Gale.

"Guys, meet my cousin Gale. Gale, meet the survivors of the Hunger Games."

"There's a sentence I never thought I would hear…" he mused, crossing his arms.

"Where are you from? What's with the hovercraft?"

Gale didn't even respond to the tone of Cato's voice, although by the tightening of his jaw I knew he was annoyed by it.

"Well, I was born in District Twelve, but District Thirteen sent me, and before you go all 'they don't exist, the Capitol bombed them off the map,' they are alive, they are underground, and they are the reason behind the rebellion. I worked with them to find you guys, and we're bringing you there."

Marvel spoke then.

"Not that I'm ungrateful, but why do we have to go with you?"

Gale shrugged.

"The Capitol is clamoring for your heads, so be my guest if you want to stay behind, but I don't think Coin, that's our president, would be too happy with me if I let you get yourselves killed."

"Noted."

"Any other questions?"

There were none.

"Good. Hey, gimme my little cousin!" Gale made grabby motions to Roan, who gurgled and flung his hands around when he recognized Gale's voice.

I laughed and passed him over, before walking to the open door of the hovercraft, Finn still clinging to my hand.

Some more quickly than others (Rue, Finn and I, Glimmer) moved quicker into the hovercraft. Others (Clove, Cato, Marvel, Thresh) moved like they expected to be attacked.

The inside of the hovercraft was cramped, with not a lot of places to sit. Gale motioned through another door into a lounge like room, where there were more couches.

"You need to get your trackers removed, so just hold still and I'll yank them out."

I was the first to bare my arm; I hoped showing everyone else that I trusted Gale would make them less wary around him.

Once all of our trackers were out, Gale lead us to another room where some food was spread out. It was no where near the caliber that Capitol food was, but for someone who was used to doing without, it was a damn near perfect feast.

We all fell on the food like a hoard of wild animals, except Rue, whom I made a plate for.

Gale watched in amusement, Roan curled in his arms with a fist in his mouth.

"I haven't seen you eat food that fast since you were pregnant with Roan…"

I pointed the bone from a piece of meat at him threateningly.

"You shut your mouth."

Glimmer snorted, but she was eating her food just as fast, albeit with a little more dignity than I was.

Unbidden, Cato's eyes shot up to look at mine. I had to look away.

Goddamnit, I couldn't deal with him…not without wanting to smack his stone-cold look off his face.

Clove raised an eyebrow at me from the side she was sitting on, and I could tell from the smirk on her face she knew _exactly_ what I was feeling.

Gale prattled on and on about what was going on in District Thirteen, telling us how a good portion of our District made it out.

Rye's father didn't make it, but his older brother and mother made it.

Great…there was one confrontation that I was _not_ looking forward to.

Roan was handed back to me after a while (and by handed back to me I mean I literally brow-beat Gale into giving my son back), and I just cuddled with him until we started to land.

Rue and Finn clung close to my sides as we descended, and almost climbed up my legs when we walked out of the hovercraft.

Immediately, we were blinded by flashing lights and screaming.

"Katniss! KATNISS!"

My eyes flashed around despretly, trying to find the source of the voice.

There was a blond haired blur and then Prim had thrown her arms around me, being mindful of the little bundle in my arms and the two kids on either of my sides.

I threw my one arm around her, pressing her head to my shoulder. My heart was racing, and I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulder when I felt her safe and sound in my arms.

Mom wasn't far behind and she enveloped me in a hug that displayed a surprising amount of strength.

When the hugs were out of the way, I introduced Prim to Rue and Finn, and she immediately started chattering with them, while helping Rue hobble to the infirmary where someone could help her ankle.

Rory, Vick and Posy hugged my legs, excited with all the energy flying around. Hazelle gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before running to try and corral her children.

With Rue gone, Thresh looked a little lost. His face brightened considerably when a small voice cried out his name and a small girl, maybe about thirteen, ran over to him to give him a hug. I assumed it was his little sister. And older woman, maybe his grandmother, enfolded him in a hug as well.

Clove and Glimmer were standing with each other, a little out of place and awkward. Cato and Marvel hovered behind them.

After extracting myself from the others, I hurried over to them.

Glimmer saw me coming and threw a grateful arm over my shoulders.

"So, what do we do now?"

"You all need to come with me to meet President Coin and to be debriefed," Gale said as he appeared behind me.

I groaned.

"Do we have to?"

All I wanted to do was find a room to sleep.

Well, give Roan a bath, play with him for a little while, and then go to sleep. Preferably with everyone in the same room as me. My paranoia was going to stick with me for a while.

Gale gave me a sad smile.

"Yes you do. But then you will be assigned rooms and then you can sleep."

Glimmer's arm tightened over my shoulders almost undetectably.

"Can we room together?"

Gale shrugged. "I don't know. Bring it up when they ask."

I shot a small smile to my mother, who was watching us. Roan curled against my chest, still asleep, surprisingly enough.

Gale lead us down a hallway, past people who stared and through a door that needed Gale to scan something on his wrist to let us through.

Again, I found myself attacked as soon as we walked into the room.

"Katniss! Oh, Katniss! We were so _worried _about you and Roan! Thank _goodness_ you're alright!"

It was Effie's voice, but it _did not_ look like her.

Gone was the outrageous wig and her bright, bold makeup. She was dressed in a professional pair of black pants and a soft-looking gray sweater. Her blond hair fell in lose waves down to her shoulders, and her eyes looked a more natural and prettier shade of blue without all the make up.

"Effie…you look…"

She winced dramatically, her hands fluttering all over herself.

"I know darling, I look a fright, but there wasn't enough time for any of us to grab anything-"

"Oh no! Effie, you look…beautiful. Less is more in your case."

She gave me a genuine smile and a pat on the cheek before cooing over Roan. I let her hold him before I saw the others in the back of the room.

Haymitch saluted me, but the glistening in his eyes made me think he actually cared more about me than he let on.

Cinna was there was well, but I didn't know where my prep-team was. Portia blew me an air-kiss.

I also spotted a number of past victors; Johanna Mason, a victor from District Seven who tricked everyone into thinking she was a weakling, and then used the axes from her home to kill every last one of them. Finnick Odair, a legend in the Capitol from District Four as a womanizer, even though women weren't the only ones he spent time with. Beetee, a victor from District Three who won his games by setting an elaborate electrical trap.

Even Enobaria and Brutus, Cashmere and Gloss, Career victors, were there. They nodded to Cato and Clove and Marvel and Glimmer respectively; my friends looked a lot more relaxed when they saw familiar faces.

"Victors of the 74th Hunger Games…welcome to District Thirteen."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long in getting up. I have posted two new stories (what have I gotten myself into?!) but I wanted to give you this, even if it is disjointed and not the best. Please keep reviewing, and also check out my two new stories, "With Arms Wide Open" and "Ashes and Dust," and the lastest chapter in my 101 Oneshots. I wrote a Hunger Games/Percy Jackson crossover and it was so long and I was so proud of it and no one reviewed :( **

**Thank you for the reviews, please keep them coming! I promise Finnick and Cato will have more action (that can be taken more than one way...)in the next chapter!**


	17. Chapter 15

_Do you know what it's like_

_To wanna surrender?_

_-Never Surrender, Skillet_

* * *

The woman who spoke was slight, maybe an inch taller than me, but she radiated an aura of authority that made her seem a foot taller. Her hair was a sheet of gray that fell to her shoulders, not a hair out of place.

Her eyes where what scared me the most; it was the same look I had seen in Cray's eyes.

Cold. Dead. Nothing animating them but the will for power and control.

Unintentionally I shivered, but I past it off with a sneeze.

Glimmer, Cato, Clove, and Marvel's faces all turned blank, almost like they were slipping on a mask. Thresh still had his arm around the young girl, but he had pulled her somewhat behind him.

Internally, I was thankful that Rue, Finn and Prim weren't there; I didn't want them to be scared.

"My name is Alma Coin. Everyone here is so _thrilled_ to have you here. Care to tell us everything that's happened since the camera's have gone off?"

In a dead voice, Glimmer spouted off, "We all fell together. Some bumps in the road, but we managed to break down the force-field and escape. We walked until we hit the boundary of District Twelve, Katniss went in, found some information, came back, and here we are."

Coin nodded, her eyes then zeroing in on the little bundle in my arms.

"When did your child come into this picture?"

Haymitch finally jumped in here, swaggering with an air of cockiness so no one would see his hands shaking; judging by the lack of alcohol in his hand or on his breath, I guessed he was in withdrawal.

"I sent the child in from the launching room. I knew the rebels were attacking; I didn't want him anywhere near the bombs. Plus, I knew she would be concerned about his well-being."

Internally, I thanks Haymitch for his quick interference.

Coin nodded her head once, eyes still raking over each and every one of us.

Finally, she spoke.

"Quarters have been made up for you. Four to a room, unless you will want to stay with your families?"

I jumped in quickly, since as far as I knew, only Thresh and my family was here.

"We will stay together."

I saw a flash of relief in Clove's eyes, but it was gone before I could see it again.

"Good. Soldier Hawthorne, escort the males to their rooms. Everdeen, your sister is being paged to bring you to your rooms. The District 11 girl will be brought up to your room when she is healed. Dismissed."

* * *

Prim tried hard to be upbeat around us, but I could tell she was tensed. She almost sighed with relief when we got to our room.

"Mom and I are three doors down, room 1143. You guys are in 1140, obviously. I think there is a crib in there for Roan, but I know you will probably prefer to have him with you. Rue should be in there, so I'll leave you guys to it. Katniss, come visit when you get some sleep and food, OK?"

I nodded, giving her a one armed hug and a kiss to the top of her head.

"Will do little duck. Tell mom I'll swing by in the morning."

Prim smiled before ducking out of the room and down the hall.

The room Glimmer, Rue, Clove and I were put in was a decent size. Two bunk beds were pressed lengthwise on the opposite wall, and there were four wardrobes on both walls. A door lead to what I assumed was a bathroom. There was a crib between the two bunk beds, but I doubted I would use it often.

Rue was already on one of the bottom bunks, her ankle wrapped and propped up.

Clove immediately claimed the bunk over Rue's. Before she did, she ran her hands over the frame and the bottom, not even thinking about it.

I knew from Glimmer that in the academy, those who were on the top bunks were always afraid an enemy would stick a knife or a sword through the mattress and kill them.

Glimmer told me to take the bottom, as she knew Roan would be sleeping with me. The amount of trust she had in me was humbling; it must have gone against her training to let me do that.

Clove and Glimmer went into the bathroom, which had two showers. When they were done, I handed Roan to Glimmer and went to take my own shower. When I came back, there was food on my bunk; a small pitcher of water, a bowl of some hearty smelling soup, and a thick slice of bread.

The four of us ate quickly, and then I fed Roan.

Soon, the other three were out cold.

Roan was curled up next to me, his hands curled into fists near his face.

I watched his chest rise and fall for what must have been an hour. It became apparent that I was not going to fall asleep anytime soon.

Without waking him up, I moved Roan over to Rue's bed. I roused her long enough to have her wrap one of her arms around him and then fall back asleep.

Quietly so not to wake the other two in the room, I padded down the hallway.

The doors were all the same monotonous gray color, the numbers rising as I walked.

I didn't know what I expected to find. I just needed to get tired enough to fall asleep, because I knew that tomorrow would be rough.

I was just about to turn around and go back to the room when I spotted a door that was different.

It was made of clear glass, and through it I saw Cato running on a machine, the sweat-drenched back of his shirt a clear indicator that he had been there for a while.

I debated with myself. Did I really want to go in there and talk to him? I could turn around right then and go back to my bed and sleep.

That plan got shot all to hell when Cato suddenly stopped running, his head whipping back around to look me straight in the eye.

I refused to backdown.

Reaching out a hand, I walked into the gym, my bare feet not making a single sound on the tile floor.

"What are you doing here?"

He didn't sound bitter or angry, just…weary. Like the week it took for us to get out of the arena and to District Thirteen was more like seven years.

"I could ask you the same question."

There was silence after that.

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife, and I watched with some detached amusement as Cato visibly fumbled around in his head for something to say.

"How's Roan? And your sister?"

"They're fine. Sleeping. Is your family here?"

Cato flinched, and I wanted to hit myself. It was obvious that something happened in his past to make even him, with his Career persona, flinch when his parents were bought up.

"No."

The tension rebounded double, and I wanted to pull my hair out with frustration.

Cato stood there for maybe three more seconds, before he sighed and walked by me to the door.

I didn't turn. I didn't know what to do in this situation. I didn't even know what situation this was.

I heard the door open, but then Cato took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself to ask something he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"Mean it when you told Glimmer you believed we were more than ruthless killing machines."

"Yes."

There was a moment of silence, and then I heard the door start to close. I called out, before I lost my nerve, "Did you really mean it when you said, 'Do you really think we're friends? Do you think I could care about anyone else, even you or your bastard of a son?'"

I turned around to face him.

Cato had his back to me, his hand still holding onto the door so tight, his knuckles had turned white; I was genuinely afraid he was going to shatter the glass.

"No. No, I didn't."

"Then why did you say it?"

There was silence for a moment, and then he replied in a soft monotone, "You were getting too close."

I snapped then, throwing my hands up in the air.

"Why do you have to push us away!? We're not going to hurt you, we're not going to kill you, so why-"

"BECAUSE I'M NOT GOOD!" He roared, turning to face me with bright eyes and flushed cheeks.

I shouted right back, "You always say that, but what the hell do you _mean?_"

Cato shoved away from the door, coming right up into my personal space, his body hovering over mine; I refused to back down.

"I was five years old when I was handed a weapon and told to kill a chipmunk. Cute little thing, with bright eyes and a fluffy tail, and I decapitated it as easily as if it were a practice dummy. I was thirteen when I was ordered to fight my best friend, a boy I had trained with since I was little. I had him pinned down, and they handed me a knife and told me to stick it in his heart. I was sixteen when they threw a teenage girl at me and told me to rape her. I did everything they told me to do Katniss, and I never fought. Never thought there was a reason to. They broke me down and remade me into a killer. I'm not even certain I was born innocent."

Bile rose in my throat when he said those things, especially the girl he was forced to rape.

He plowed on. "I was told that other people were nothing more than pawns, nothing more than animals to be killed for glory and money and honor. I was thrown into rings with nothing more than my fists, and told to kill or be killed. I trained eighteen hours a day until I thought I would collapse, and then they would shock me with electrical wires and I would train for another four hours. I'm. Not. Human. I'm. Not. Good."

He punctuated each of his words with steps to back me up against the wall. I didn't flinch or look away from his eyes, not even when he raised both of his hands and slammed them against the wall.

"I pushed you away because the last time I let a girl get close to me, the last time I allowed myself to _feel _like a normal teenage boy, she was thrown at my feet in training, raped and beaten and bloody. Her throat had been cut, and her eyes had been stabbed out. They told me that I didn't _deserve_ love, didn't deserve to be normal. I was a monster, and that was what they created me as."

His shoulders slumped when he was done, his eyes glazing over when he thought of his past. I felt my own tears rise up in my eyes, tears for the pain and the horror and the suffering he and so many other teens had faced at the hands of the Capital and the District Trainers.

Were these the teens Gale and I had condemned?

I had always thought of them as nothing more than sheep, monsters who followed an even bigger monster, who enjoyed killing and terrorizing others.

They were just as much the victims as we were.

They had been broken down, remade into weapons, had the humanity literally beating and bleed out of them. They were taught never to make emotional attachments, never to give into their urges, never to be _happy_, or it would all be torn out from under them and thrown bloody and broken back at their feet.

Shame rose up within me; how could I have hated them? How could I have scoffed at them and pretended to be something better? How could I have turned my back on the suffering that others had faced?

I had to push that away now; Cato was still hovering over me, his body tense with remembered pain and the confessions he had just spouted to me.

I could do this; I protected people, I nurtured younger ones, I comforted others, even Gale, when they had nightmares.

But this was a little bit beyond me.

Moving slowly, so not to startle him, I placed my hands on his wrists, gently pulling them from the wall and letting him wrap them tightly around my own wrists; his hands were so large his fingers overlapped.

"You are not a monster. You, Marvel, Glimmer, Clove…you just had a rotten hand dealt. None of you are monsters; you had the feelings and humanity literally beaten out of you, and that doesn't make you a monster. That makes you a victim. But you are all strong. You are brave and smart and _human_."

His hands tightened convulsively on my wrists, almost to the point of pain, but deep in his eyes I could see the hope and desperation, reminiscent of a little boy trying so desperately to be a man.

I ran my thumbs over the pulse in his wrists, trying to soothe him in the little way I cold.

"A monster can't love. A monster can't show compassion, or emotion. Marvel does. He laughs with Thresh and plays jokes with Rue. Clove protects Rue and Finn, and she cried when Coral was dead. Glimmer loves Roan, almost like her own son. She cared about Coral, and she would die in a heartbeat for Finn or Rue or any one of us."

I made sure he was looking at me for the next part.

"A monster can't regret, can't be afraid, can't be sad. And you are. You're not a monster because I know you regret what you did. I know you're not a monster because even when you try to hide it, I can see you take inventory of us when we're walking, making sure none of us are falling behind or hurt. I know you're not a monster because you are trying so desperately to keep yourself from making connections to us, because you are so sure we're going to be taken. And that, that right there, that fear and emotion and turmoil you're feeling…that means that you're human. You're not a monster Cato. You're not."

His hands gripped my wrists even tighter, and his eyes rolled with repressed emotion.

I don't know how long we stood there; it could have been moments, minutes, hours.

I just knew that everything seemed to righten in the world when he leaned down quickly, and smashed his lips to mine.

* * *

**Everyone say it with me now: FINA - FRICKIN - LY!**

**OK, I am so sorry about not getting a chapter out sooner. Real life kind of caught up to me. **

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I'm sorry to leave you with this little cliff-hanger, but the next couple of chapters should make up for it...I hope.**

**I'm trying to get into a posting schedule, but I'm not sure how it's going to work out. **

**I know I've said this before, but I posted a Oneshot in my "101 PJATO ONESHOTS" and NO ONE has reviewed it. It's a kind of Hunger Games/PJATO crossover, and I would really appreciate it if SOMEONE read it and reviewed. **

**Anyway, before this author's note turns into a chapter by itself, please drop me a line, and again, I'm sorry for not posting sooner!**


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